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Obama’s Presidential Library
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Hairy Polemic - 04:07pm on 07/19/2008

A friend recently forwarded a satirical chain-letter detailing the many rooms in Bush’s planned Presidential Library. Rooms are named along the lines of “The National Debt Room, which is huge and has no ceiling.” You get the idea.

Anger is a strong muse, and I found myself immediately penning a response detailing Obama’s projected library. My co-workers roared, so I figured I’d let you have it too:

The Barrack Obama Presidential Reliquary Library is in its planning stages as the main stream media already reports his preordained anointment election. The Library will include:

The Chicago Reading Room; where visitors remain deathly silent about our Lord’s early accomplishments.

The All-American Flag Incinerator; donated by Hamas, Hezbollah, William Ayers and Michelle Obama.

The Executive Mercy Room; where our Lord signed Tony Rezko’s first pardon.

The Wright Chapel; which Obama never visits… honest.

The Complaint Mailroom (also known as the Eternal Victimization Room); where all complaints are stamped “Return to RACIST.”

The Fluff Piece Room; where budding journalists can check out extensive coverage of the great man’s rise to power.

The Gorium Emporium; where you can buy credits to pay for your continued, disgusting existence on Mother Earth – proceeds to pay for the vice president’s electric bills.

The Iraqi Indecision 2008 Room; where Obama is often seen hovering outside the door, not sure whether he does or does not want to enter.

The Economic Omniscience Room; where you can be for and against free-trade simultaneously.

The Eternal Revision Room; where Obama hid all those drafts of scholarly work that he never quite published during his tenure as a Chicago Law Professor.

The Executive Rotisserie; where a giant machine, hooked up to a coffin, helps George Washington forever turn in his fucking grave.


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