RPDS - Rob Port Derangement Syndrome
As a public service, if you or someone you love, suffers from Rob Port Derangement Syndrome, they can be rehabilitated to live a semi-normal life! How to recognize the symptoms of RPDS:
1) Spittle flecked computer monitor
2) Drool soaked keyboard
3) Delusions of adequacy
4) Delusions of relevance
5) Peevishness
6) Whinyness
7) Bitchiness
8) Loose grasp on reality (confuses honesty with dishonesty)
9) Foul mouth (resembling Tourette’s syndrome)
10) Obsession with Rob Port’s success
11) Depression over personal failure
12) False Identification with Conservative talk show hosts
13)* Diarrhea of the mouth
14)* Constipation of the mind
15)** Apostrophobic (Fear of putting apostrophes in the correct place!)
Scientists have not yet been able to come to a consensus as to whether or not mind numbing stupidity causes RPDS, or RPDS causes mind numbing stupidity. Studies of RPDS sufferers west of California and east of Japan seem to indicate that RPDS is often accompanied by mind numbing dishonesty as well.
So far, the only known cure for RPDS is a large dose of STFU. Unfortunately, most RPDS sufferers are in deep denial about their condition and often refuse treatment.
Disclaimer: Any resemblance between RPDS sufferers and any person living or dead from the neck up is purely coincidental! *Updated
**Updated It's hard to remember all your good material if you don't write it down right away!
1) Spittle flecked computer monitor
2) Drool soaked keyboard
3) Delusions of adequacy
4) Delusions of relevance
5) Peevishness
6) Whinyness
7) Bitchiness
8) Loose grasp on reality (confuses honesty with dishonesty)
9) Foul mouth (resembling Tourette’s syndrome)
10) Obsession with Rob Port’s success
11) Depression over personal failure
12) False Identification with Conservative talk show hosts
13)* Diarrhea of the mouth
14)* Constipation of the mind
15)** Apostrophobic (Fear of putting apostrophes in the correct place!)
Scientists have not yet been able to come to a consensus as to whether or not mind numbing stupidity causes RPDS, or RPDS causes mind numbing stupidity. Studies of RPDS sufferers west of California and east of Japan seem to indicate that RPDS is often accompanied by mind numbing dishonesty as well.
So far, the only known cure for RPDS is a large dose of STFU. Unfortunately, most RPDS sufferers are in deep denial about their condition and often refuse treatment.
Disclaimer: Any resemblance between RPDS sufferers and any person living or dead from the neck up is purely coincidental! *Updated
**Updated It's hard to remember all your good material if you don't write it down right away!
