Risk factors of checking up on relationship partners
Occasionally letters come my way detailing people becoming their own private investigator and checking on the suspicious habits of their romantic partners. You know the deal—checking emails, phone calls, web sites visited, etc. Usually people’s suspicions prove perceptive and accurate.
The problems with this approach are how do you effectively present findings to a dishonest or cheating partner? By doing such do you possibly blow up a relationship you only want to fix, not end? And while you know your trust has been betrayed how does the other person feel about their trust with you? Finally, what precedent have you set for both of you to ignore each other’s privacy.
The point?
If you feel someone is betraying a relationship and it’s eating you alive, protect yourself, if you wish, by checking up on them, but realize it’s often an all or nothing proposition. It’s an act of desperation. Make sure the motive is to protect yourself and to save the relationship and not just to express anger or rage, even if deserved.
Michael X on People
—-Offering insight and guidance since 2006
(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
