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Thursday, November 09, 2006

Jeff Foxworthy on Living in North Dakota

How many of these apply to you?  I was seriously in the low 20’s.

If “vacation” to you means going shopping for the weekend in Grand Forks, Fargo, Minot or Bismarck (while the kids swim at the Comfort Inn), You might live in North Dakota.

If parking your car for the night involves an extension cord, You might live in North Dakota.

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 8 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, You might live in North Dakota.

If you’re proud that your state makes the national news primarily because it houses the coldest spot in the nation, You might live in North Dakota.

If you have ever refused to buy something because it’s “too spendy”, You might live in North Dakota

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, You might live in North Dakota.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don’t work there, You might live in North Dakota.

If your dad’s suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, You might live in North Dakota.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, You might live in North Dakota.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, You might live in North Dakota.

If you know how to correctly pronounce Medina, Cando, Beulah’ and Hebron, You might live in North Dakota.

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, You might live in North Dakota.

If you measure distance in hours,You might live in North Dakota.

If your family vehicle is a crew cab pickup, You might live in North Dakota.

If you know several people who have hit deer more than once, You might live in North Dakota.

If you often switch from “heat” to “A/C"in the same day and back again, You might live in North Dakota.

If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching, You might live in North Dakota.

If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events, You might live in North Dakota.

If you’ve installed security lights on your house and garage and then leave both unlocked, You might live in North Dakota.

If the largest traffic jam in your town centers around a high school basketball game, You might live in North Dakota.

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them, You might live in North Dakota.

If there are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Wal-Mart at any given time, You might live in North Dakota.

If there are more people at work on Christmas Eve Day than on the opening day of deer gun hunting season, You might live in North Dakota.

If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, You might live in North Dakota.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, You might live in North Dakota.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, You might live in North Dakota.

If you can identify a southern or eastern accent, You might live in North Dakota.

If you consider Fargo exotic, You might live in North Dakota.

If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your cottonwood, You might live in North Dakota.

If the sunbelt to you means Bismarck, You might live in North Dakota.

If a brat is something you eat, You might live in North Dakota.

If finding your misplaced car keys involves looking in the ignition, You might live in North Dakota.

If you go out to a fish fry every Friday, You might live in North Dakota.

If you find 0 degrees a little chilly, You might live in North Dakota.

Comments

I had to turn the heat on just reading this. I believe I’ll keep to sunnier climes. If you can fry an egg on the sidewalk in July, you might live in Virginia---

Margie on November 9, 2006 at 03:02 pm
Rob
Rob
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I love North DAkota.  The only other place I’d consider living is Alaska (where I was born).


When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.

-- Thomas Jefferson

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Rob on November 9, 2006 at 05:06 pm

So Rob, how many of those apply to you?


What’s going to happen to US industry when the global warming extremists like John McCain double the price of electricity?  I would think all these factories will close and set up in countries where they aren’t scared of technology.


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The Whistler on November 9, 2006 at 05:09 pm
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Quite a few of them.

Especially the ice fishing one.  And the shorts/parka one.  I do that all the time just running up to the corner store.


When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.

-- Thomas Jefferson

Rob’s recently listened-to songs:

robport.gif border=0

Rob on November 9, 2006 at 05:11 pm
Avatar for goprairie

If you wake up in your college dorm to the whine of another student’s hair dryer and your first reaction it that is the corn dryer, you are probably from ND.

goprairie on November 9, 2006 at 06:58 pm

Hell, a whole lot of those apply to rural PA. And to me!


Una Salus Victus Nullam Sperare Salutem

2Hotel9 on November 10, 2006 at 01:05 pm

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 8 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, You might live in North Dakota.

Ah yep that one applies to me.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, You might live in North Dakota.

Do that one all of the time, when I step out to go to Valley Dairy.
Yep thats true too.

f you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, You might live in North Dakota.

This one is the understatement of the year.

If finding your misplaced car keys involves looking in the ignition, You might live in North Dakota.


Check out:
Goon’s North Dakota Red Neck
Goon’s World

goon on November 16, 2006 at 02:12 pm
Rob
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Ah yep that one applies to me.

So when are we going ice fishing, Goon?


When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.

-- Thomas Jefferson

Rob’s recently listened-to songs:

robport.gif border=0

Rob on November 16, 2006 at 02:16 pm

I was hoping for snow for opening day of Bear Season. All we are getting is rain, and don’t look likely to change before Monday.


Una Salus Victus Nullam Sperare Salutem

2Hotel9 on November 16, 2006 at 02:31 pm

So when are we going ice fishing, Goon?

Goon went ice fishing and got hit by a Zamboni.

Last time Rob went ice fishing he brought back ten pounds of ice.

I kill myself sometimes.


What’s going to happen to US industry when the global warming extremists like John McCain double the price of electricity?  I would think all these factories will close and set up in countries where they aren’t scared of technology.


The Whistler's signature
The Whistler on November 16, 2006 at 03:29 pm
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These comments bring a smile from a So. Cal girl who spent months doing oil exploratin accross wilderness and farm lands of North Dakota and they all fit.

D.C. on December 11, 2007 at 05:33 pm
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North Dakota is like the twilight zone. Weird things happen here. I was looking for dryer parts in a specialized store and people were giving me advice on what to buy. Those people were not employees of the store.

bsd on January 15, 2008 at 09:12 am
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I was out ice fishing one time and Whistler came by to borrow a saw. He was gone for seven or eight hours, and I was just figuring that I’d never get my saw back, when he finally showed up, dog tired and panting.
“Catch anything?” I asked.

Catch anything?? I just barely got my boat in the water!” he replied.



Barack Obama: All hat and no cattle since 1997!


Proof on January 15, 2008 at 09:21 am

bsd, we do that here in western PA, too. No point in asking an actual store employee, they ain’t got a clue!


Una Salus Victus Nullam Sperare Salutem

2Hotel9 on January 15, 2008 at 09:34 am
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