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The Whistler

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Christmas Mental Disorders

* 1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

* 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

* 3. Dementia --- I Think I’ll be Home for Christmas

* 4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

* 5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Airplanes.....

* 6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

* 7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open

Fire

* 8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why

* 9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the

airplane - can I have a chocolate - why is France so far away? - all is calm

* 10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle

Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,

Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle

Bells , Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle

Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle

Bells,! Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle

Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Monday, December 11, 2006

Ariel the Potty Mouth

Who knew that Rob spent his days programming toys for Mattel?

Free Image Hosting at allyoucanupload.com

It’s supposed to say sweet things to little girls like, “You’re a wonderful friend,” but push its button the wrong way and the Little Mermaid Shimmering Lights Ariel doll may say something else — “You’re a slut,” according to a California mother whose allegation came to light in a newspaper report.

Stephanie Oppenheim, who publishes the independent toy guide Oppenheim Toy Portfolio, told the Mercury News that she put Arial to the test. After pushing the buttons on another Shimmering Lights Ariel doll, she said she heard the naughty word but had to listen really closely to get an earful.

Ok 99% of mothers would tell their 3 year old that Ariel said “you’re sweet.” I think it takes a dirty mind to hear this.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Moron Injured In Play Station Incident

You have to watch this video of a full speed face to flag pole collision.

Forest’s mother always said “stupid is and stupid does.”

I’m glad to hear that it’s all Walmart’s fault.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Jeff Foxworthy on Living in North Dakota

How many of these apply to you?  I was seriously in the low 20’s.

If “vacation” to you means going shopping for the weekend in Grand Forks, Fargo, Minot or Bismarck (while the kids swim at the Comfort Inn), You might live in North Dakota.

If parking your car for the night involves an extension cord, You might live in North Dakota.

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 8 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, You might live in North Dakota.

If you’re proud that your state makes the national news primarily because it houses the coldest spot in the nation, You might live in North Dakota.

If you have ever refused to buy something because it’s “too spendy”, You might live in North Dakota

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, You might live in North Dakota.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don’t work there, You might live in North Dakota.

(more...)

Bringing “Merry Christmas” Back.

Hmmm.

NEW YORK (CNNMoney)—Wal-Mart has told its employees that it’s OK to once again greet shoppers by saying “Merry Christmas” this holiday season instead of the generic “Happy Holidays.”

CNN confirmed that Wal-Mart will announce Thursday that it plans to use the phrase “Merry Christmas” in products and around its stores this holiday season.

If you’ve followed my comments you’ll know that I support Walmart when it’s attacked by the unions.

However they shouldn’t weighing the economic aspects of saying or not saying “Merry Christmas.” If you have some core principles you don’t have to flounder.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Name the Candidate

A little election time humor.  We need it.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Hunting Racism

Rob’s Blogger-buddy has a great video blog on how ridiculous the recent Democrat accusations of race have been.

I present, Mary Katharine Ham:

Chris Dodd Doesn’t Want to Hear Webb Excerpts

Democrat Senator Chris Dodd was on the phone with Don Imus this morning (apparently).  Imus asked if he should read what Senate Candidate Jim Webb wrote.

Dodd sure as heck didn’t want the public to hear them read outloud.  Why is that?

Rumsfeld Smacks Down Miklaszewski

Who ya gonna call: Newsbusters!

When NBC military affairs correspondent Jim Miklaszewski posed an ill-founded question to Donald Rumsfeld at a Pentagon press briefing today, the Secretary of Defense responded in, shall we say, animated fashion, leaving very little doubt as to where he stood on the matter.

The Mik apparently asserted that every time a security benchmark has been laid down, the Iraqis have failed to meet it.

On Friday’s ‘Today, ‘ Mik was accorded considerable time to air his version of events. But while the NBC correspondent accused the Bush administration of being “hypersensitive” over the benchmark issue, at the end of his report Mik was constrained to acknowledge that “strictly by the numbers, Rumsfeld is correct.”

I love how Rumsfeld doesn’t mince words when he does a news conference.  Whether you think he’s right or wrong, you’ve got to give him credit for speaking his mind.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

The October Surprise to Beat All October Surpises

Drudge Flash Report:

Webb’s novels disturbingly and consistently – indeed, almost uniformly – portray women as servile, subordinate, inept, incompetent, promiscuous, perverted, or some combination of these. In novel after novel, Webb assigns his female characters base, negative characteristics. In thousands of pages of fiction penned by Webb, there are few if any strong, admirable women or positive female role models.

Why does Jim Webb refuse to portray women in a respectful, positive light, whether in his non-fiction concerning their role in the military, or in his provocative novels? How can women trust him to represent their views in the Senate when chauvinistic attitudes and sexually exploitive references run throughout his fiction and non-fiction writings?

· Most Virginians and Americans would find passages such as those below shocking, especially coming from the pen of someone who seeks the privilege of serving in the United States Senate, one of the highest offices in the land:

I’m not putting this stuff that the Democrat Candidate for Senator from Virginia wrote on the front page.  Frankly writing about child molestation is sick.  I’ll excerpt a couple items on the extended entry.

What I find surprising is that the media hasn’t come out on this stuff before now.  I guess writing stories about some obscure African slur is more important.

(more...)

Brain Teaser

There are two pictures almost identical to each other, you have to find three differences. If you can find three differences, then you are part of an elite group of individuals. This has been tested on 8000 people, and only 19 people out of 8000 found the three differences.

Click on the picture to play.

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Punished For Reporting Lawbreakers

Liberalism at work.

OKLAHOMA CITY—A state Department of Human Services worker says he was punished for trying to report illegal immigrants who were applying for state benefits.
Steve Thomas told the House Revenue and Taxation Committee he tried to follow a rule requiring memos be written to DHS superiors when they come across an applicant who’s an illegal immigrant.

Thomas says he was taken before DHS’ civil rights office and accused of threatening illegal immigrants.

It should be required that anytime a government employee has reason to believe that he is dealing with an illegal alien (or other lawbreaker) that they report that to the authorities.

Just For Halloween

The 10 Most Real Ghost Photo’s.

Be afraid, be very very afraid.

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If You’ve Seen This Man

Please call the authorities. 

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Thanks to Cam Edwards.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Must See Political Ad

Rush was talking about this political ad on his show today.  It’s hilarious.

According to Rush the Democrats are trying to claim that this ad is racist.  Can you guess why?

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