Say Anything Blog

Enjoy!

May we remain a free nation with God’s many blessings.



and for those needing a little more enthusiasm…

Attention SAB’ers

LOL

Today I experienced my first road kill. Ever. Not to say I’ve never hit anything before, fact I’ve hit plenty of things. Like other cars, moving and nonmoving. Once a deer hit me and ran off leaving $1700.00 damage to the side of my car. I didn’t know animals could laugh, but I swear this one was laughing as it finished meandering across the highway. I’ve hit bicycles and even a lawn mover someone left behind my car in the driveway. I’ve hit a Cement wall, a couple trees and even a little old lady in a wheelchair. Yes, you read it right. Hey, I didn’t see her and it was just a lil bump anyway. I am sure it could have happened to anyone.
Anyway, I think my kill was, I believe, a possum. I think. But let me tell you, it was not playing possum when my SUV was done with it.
I’ve never experience killing something with my car before and the thought of what remains are under my vehicle worries me some. Maybe I’ll go to an auto wash and let them deal with it.
I felt terrible about ending an innocent lil life and came home and googled possum images and found this one. Now I feel much better

H/T Denny

The word is out that the Obamas will be spending part of their summer vacation in Martha’s Vineyard. “Many blacks from Oak Bluffs are elated that the Only One-in-Chief may be joining them. “People are going to lose their minds!” Tonya Lewis Lee says.

At the same time, there’s also a bit of wariness among the wealthiest ones, an uncertainty whether Obama will affirm them. “Obama is more a man of the people,” says a Vineyarder who’s part of black high society. “He doesn’t seem to identify with affluent black people. His wife definitely doesn’t; she is basically a ghetto girl. That’s what she says—I’m just being sociological. She grew up in the same place Jennifer Hudson did. She hasn’t reached out to the social community of Washington, and people are waiting to see what they’ll do about that.” (New Yorker Magazine)
[...]
The dynamics of black society is very difficult to understand. We are probably the only race that has prejudices against other members of our own race. This anonymous member of the black elite simply said was what is said among her group.

“We are probably the only race that has prejudices against other members of our own race.”!!!!???

Uh yeah, ‘cause take a look at whitey’s country club and you don’t see and prejudice there, huh? Eat shit lady. Snobbery comes in all colors you asswipe.
As for “ghetto girl” .. pff, call her what ya want. I don’t care

H/T SondraK

Because of the high unemployment rate the EMPLOYMENT SECURITY DEPT is in need of additional case workers to meet the demands of unemployment claims.

*This was just a partial list of similar positions at the employment office near me… oh and not to mention the extra receptionist they hired on to handle the influx of people needing assistance.
They are also hiring additional welfare, mental health specialist and homeless case worker/advocates to handle the overload for assistance in those particular areas

Brief Jerky

LOL! Oh, yeah. That’s money well spent.
 

The federal government is spending $423,500 to find out why men don’t like to wear condoms, a project government watchdogs say is a nearly-half-a-million-dollar waste of taxpayer money.

  Researchers at Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute, with funding from the National Institutes of Health, are investigating why “young, heterosexual adult men” have problems using condoms. The study will include “skill-based intervention” to teach grown men how to use protection.

  The first phase of the two-year study will be a simple Q&A, but doctors say the second phase will plumb uncharted territory.

  “The second phase involves a laboratory study, and focuses on penile erection and sensitivity during condom application,” reads the abstract from Drs. Erick Janssen and Stephanie Sanders, both of the Kinsey Institute.

  “The project aims to understand the relationship between condom application and loss of erections and decreased sensation, including the role of condom skills and performance anxiety, and to find new ways to improve condom use among those who experience such problems.”

I don’t know, I’m betting we could figure out why men don’t like using them for a lot cheaper than $423,500. And even if it’s agreed that such a study is worth it, why is it the public needs to be paying for it? Isn’t this an issue for the manufacturer of condoms to worry about?

Sheesh…

HEH!

Q: Doctor,  I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it…  don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.  Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.  Want to live longer?  Take a nap. 

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies..  What does a cow eat?  Hay and corn.  And what are these?  Vegetables.  So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.  Need grain?  Eat chicken.  Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).  And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? 

A:  No,  not at all.  Wine is made from fruit.  Brandy is distilled wine,  that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way.  Beer is also made out of grain.  Bottoms   up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well,  if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.  If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry.  My philosophy is: No Pain…Good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you? 

A:  YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!! .....  Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.  In fact,  they’re permeated in it.  How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? 

Q:  Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger… You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger   stomach. 

Q:  Is chocolate bad for me? 

A:  Are you crazy? HELLO… Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It’s the best feel-good food around!

Q:  Is swimming good for your figure? 

A:  If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q:  Is getting in-shape important for my   lifestyle? 

A:  Hey!  ‘Round’ is a shape! 

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

‘Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up,  totally worn out and screaming ‘WOO HOO, What a Ride’ 

AND…..

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies. 

1.. The Japanese eat very little fat

and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat

and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine

and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine

and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.

Speaking English is apparently what kills you. 

A German research published in New England Journal of Medicine and Weekly World News said that men staring at women’s breasts in fact prolong their lives with years.

“Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female such as Baywatch actress Pamela Lee is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out,” said author Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist.

The team led by Weath More..erby was made up of researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany, and found this results after monitoring for 5 years the health of 200 male subjects, half of whom were asked to look at busty females daily, while the other half had to abstain from doing so.

For five years, the boob oglers presented a lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and decreased risk of coronary artery disease.

“Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation. There’s no question: Gazing at large breasts makes men healthier. Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half.” said Weatherby, who even recommended that men aged over 40 should spend at least 10 minutes daily admiring breasts sized “D-cup” or larger.

She said that this was as healthy as going to the gym for 30 minutes daily and prolonged a man’s life by five years.

“We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years.” said Weatherby.

This is indeed a very serious reason for men to enjoy without shame those midnight TV shows, download low-budget women-in-prison movies and collect such instructive and health beneficial magazines like Playboy and Hustler.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL… whatever!
“even recommended that men aged over 40 should spend at least 10 minutes daily admiring breasts sized “D-cup” or larger.”
Again.. whatever!
LOLOLOLOL.. this is hilarious, but very clever of someone to come up with.
Does this make titty bars the new health bars? I wonder if you can get a drs prescription to show your wife/girlfriend? Hmm.. wonder if insurance would cover such a medical necessity?


Come on guys… do it for yer health

Bwhahahaha…

They’re so smart ...