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LOL.. I thought for sure my supersize fries were going to do me in

H/T to Tina via Denny

H/T Ace

H/TIP Denny

Call Girls at Nursing Home Fuel Debate in Denmark

By Christian Wienbergpril 16 (Bloomberg)—When a male resident at Kildegaarden nursing home in Denmark made an indecent sexual proposal to a member of the staff, the home’s director, Inger Marie Kristensen, told a nurse to telephone for a prostitute.

``There was a considerable change in his demeanor after the escort girl had paid him a visit,’’ Kristensen said in an interview. ``We do this for our clients just as we offer them other services that they need as human beings.’’

[...]

*snicker*

FOXNEWS.COM HOME An eight-year-old Yemeni girl was granted a divorce from an arranged marriage she was forced into in just the second grade.

Nojud Mohammed Ali said she was forced to marry under an agreement reached between her unemployed father and 28-year-old former husband, Faez Ali Thameur, earlier this year, AFP reported.

“They asked me to sign the marriage contract and remain in my father’s house until I was 18,” the girl told AFP. “But a week after signing, my father and my mother forced me to go live with him.”

Thameur told a judge that he married Nojud with her consent and her parents’, and that the marriage “was consummated, but I did not beat her.” He did not object to the divorce petition.

Nojud’s father said he married off his daughter with her consent out of fear that she might be kidnapped, as he claimed her two older sisters had been, AFP reported.

Nojud said she has no desire to see her father and will instead live with a maternal uncle.

“I am happy that I am divorced now. I will be able to go back to school,” Nojud told AFP.

Her lawyer compared the case to thousands of others in Yemen, which has no minimum age of marriage. She said advocates are pushing for laws that would make 18 the minimum age of marriage.

Unbelievable!

Custom made stainless steel double barrel shotgun grill/smoker. You can grill in both barrels and you can smoke in the stock or you can smoke through the barrels. The barrels are 7 1/16 thick and the stock is 1/8 thick. As the grill is smoking the smoke comes through the barrels as if the gun had just been fired. The trailer is all customed made and is completely stainless, also the trailer wheels are custom as well. All welding on grill and trailer is all tigged welded solid. The total weight of the grill and trailer is approximately 850 pounds.

SKYY® Vodka, Made in the USA, Proudly Supports Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo

SKYY® Vodka, America’s Most-Popular Domestic Vodka Decries Absolut® Vodka’s Suggestion to Redraw North American Map

SAN FRANCISCO--(BUSINESS WIRE)--In 1848, the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo officially ended the Mexican-America War (1846-1848). With the signing of this treaty, the United States gained control of what was to become the Golden West, including California, Arizona, Utah, Nevada and parts of Colorado and New Mexico. Today, SKYY® Vodka, the number-one vodka produced in the United States, spoke out against suggestions by Absolut® Vodka to disregard that treaty, as well as the joining of Texas to the Union in 1845, as depicted in Absolut’s recent advertising.

“Like SKYY Vodka, the residents of states like California, Texas and Arizona are exceptionally proud of the fact that they are from the United States of America,” said Dave Karraker, SKYY Vodka. “To imply that they might be interested in changing their mailing addresses, as our competitor seems to be suggesting in their advertising, is a bit presumptuous.”

In the ad, an “Absolut World” is depicted where the map of North America is re-drawn with Mexico claiming much of the Western United States, negating the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, as well as the Gadsden Purchase (1853), and the independence of Texas (1836).

“Don’t get me started on the Gadsden Purchase,” continues Karraker. “I think the folks in Tucson and Yuma would be rubbed the wrong way if they hear this landmark deal was somehow nullified as suggested by Absolut, a Swedish-owned brand.”

SKYY Vodka was founded in San Francisco in 1992 and continues to be produced in the United States. Premium SKYY Vodka is made from American grain carefully selected from the Midwest and 100% pure filtered water. SKYY’s proprietary four-column distillation and three-step filtration process consistently ensures exceptional quality. SKYY Vodka products include luxury SKYY90® and new SKYY Infusions™, a unique, all-natural infused experience made with premium SKYY Vodka and succulent real fruit.

H/T Abbadon

H/T Classic Values

Ticked Teen Calls Cops On Mom

BREMERTON, Wash.—A 14-year-old boy upset that his mother threatened to send him to military school for skipping class later turned her in for growing marijuana.

A Kitsap County deputy went to the boy’s house after he called 911 emergency dispatchers and said his mother was growing pot, according to police.

At the house, the teen told the deputy he was angry that his mom was trying to discipline him for skipping class and talking back, “and he decided to tell on his mother.”

At first, the 34-year-old woman said she only smoked marijuana. She declined to let the deputy search her house without a warrant, but then changed her mind. “What the heck, you don’t need a warrant. I’ll show you,” the deputy quoted the mother as saying.

In her closet, the deputy found 10 small marijuana plants. The mother said she was growing them for personal use.

The woman was cooperative, the deputy wrote, and was not arrested.

H/T Dave Barry

MARIETTA, Ga. (April 8) - The head of the Georgia NAACP called for the state to investigate the sentences given in the so-called “Barbie bandits” bank theft case, saying the two white defendants got less prison time than two black men.

Edward DuBose said Monday he will ask state Attorney General Thurbert Baker to look into the case. Baker’s office did not immediately respond to a call seeking comment Tuesday.

Last month, Cobb County Superior Court Judge Mary Staley sentenced 20-year-old Heather Johnston to 10 years probation after she pleaded guilty to a charge of theft by taking in the 2007 heist. The judge gave 19-year-old Ashley Miller two years in jail and eight years probation. Both women are white.

Michael Chastang, 28, was sentenced to 10 years for being the mastermind of the robbery, and bank teller Bennie Allen III, 23, who pleaded guilty, was sentenced to five years. Both men are black. Chastang also is serving 15 years on unrelated drug-trafficking charges and Allen was on probation for a drug conviction.

Johnston and Miller - both former exotic dancers who went by the stage names “Charlie” and “Adrienne” - were nicknamed the “Barbie bandits” after they were videotaped wearing sunglasses and laughing as they appeared to rob a Bank of America branch in Acworth of $11,000.

Apparently, NAACP is blind to prior criminal history ... just maybe?

The Gazette

CEDAR RAPIDS - A woman apprehended a burglar in her home Monday afternoon, police said.

Officers called to 426 35th St. SE a few minutes after 2 p.m. arrived to find Derdre Rodriguez holding Jake Merfeld, 16, at bay with an ice scraper, according to a police report.

Rodriguez told officers she’d arrived home a few minutes earlier to hear noises coming from a room at the back of the house. When she called her son’s name, she heard someone jump from a rear window. Rodriguez went to investigate and saw Merfeld running across the backyard, carrying jewelry, cell phones, and a video game.

Merfeld dropped the items as Rodriguez chased him across her neighbors’ yards. When she caught Merfeld, Rodriguez hit him across the top of the head with the ice scraper and he surrendered. As they returned to the house to wait for police, Rodriguez made him collect all the property he’d dropped.

Officers took Merfeld, of 3621 Dalewood Ave. SE, to a hospital for treatment of a cut to his head, then to police headquarters for questioning, then to Linn County’s juvenile detention center. Merfeld will face a second-degree burglary charge.

LOL .. my advise to “Jake the burglar”, never underestimate the power of a mad mom

“Meet Woody, the bird with a massive pecker that’s triple the normal size”

Without its beak, a woodpecker would be up a gumtree.

But as the well-endowed fellow shows, it’s possible to have too much of a good thing.

The great spotted male, a regular visitor to a garden in North Yorkshire, has a bill more than twice the normal size.

[...]

Iona Knipl wins the Worst Bad Name Contest

LOL.. you’re a champ and may your cup runneth over