That’s right.  Ibuprofen.  As in over-the-counter headache medicine like Advil and Tylenol, though in this case the ibuprofen just happened to be prescription strength.  Meaning each pill is equivalent to two over-the-counter pills.

Safford Middle School has a “zero tolerance” policy that prohibits possession of all drugs, including not just alcohol and illegal intoxicants but prescription medications and over-the-counter remedies, “except those for which permission to use in school has been granted.” In October 2003, acting on a tip, Vice Principal Kerry Wilson found a few 400-milligram ibuprofen pills (each equivalent to two over-the-counter tablets) and one nonprescription naproxen tablet in the pockets of a student named Marissa, who claimed Savana was her source.

Savana, an honors student with no history of disciplinary trouble or drug problems, said she didn’t know anything about the pills and agreed to a search of her backpack, which turned up nothing incriminating. Wilson nevertheless instructed a female secretary to strip-search Savana under the school nurse’s supervision, without even bothering to contact the girl’s mother.

The secretary had Savana take off all her clothing except her underwear. Then she told her to “pull her bra out and to the side and shake it, exposing her breasts,” and “pull her underwear out at the crotch and shake it, exposing her pelvic area.”

As is noted at the link, “Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between drug warriors and child molesters.”

No doubt, at least as far as this incident is concerned.  A “zero tolerance” policy that includes something as harmless as Ibuprofen is absurd on its own, but strip searching a student to look for allegedly hidden ibuprofen is beyond the pale.

But even so, the school district’s attorney tries to justify the search with this:

“When it comes to drugs and weapons,” Matthew Wright said, “school districts just can’t take the chance of not going forward and being sure.”

[...]

“Remember,” he says, “this was prescription strength Ibuprofen.”

Cue the scary music.

Honestly, situations like this are why we need school vouchers.  School secretaries strip searching your kids looking for Tylenol?  Take your voucher to another school.  Principles won’t feel like they have the God-like ability to trample student rights if their livelihoods are susceptible to the market forces of school choice.