About 30 years ago The Day of the Jackal was published by Frederick Forsyth. In it he describes how the subject of the book would search graveyards for children who, had they not died, would have been the same age as him. After finding a good subject he would then obtain a certified copy of their birth certificate and use that to obtain a passport. To this day this remains a viable way to obtain a passport. Why hasn't this loophole been fixed? "Because bureaucrats are naturally lazy and indolent," says Mr. Forsyth.
Sex Robots
Scientists in India, the country responsible for the Kama Sutra, have reportedly developed a new robot which can simulate a human being having sex. The scientist report its ability to perform bodily movements and even boast of its "sexual prowess." They intend the robot to be used by couples having marital difficulties.
Yeah right, lonely bastards.
Man With No Legs Escapes
A convicted prisoner with no legs managed to escape 'unnoticed' from his guarded bed at Durban's King Edward Hospital two months ago. He has yet to be found. It is believed Francois Johannes Pieterse, who had been serving a 10-year sentence at Westville Prison for fraud and impersonating a doctor, either escaped in a wheelchair or was carried off by unknown accomplices. The guard assigned to him has been charged with negligence.
R. Kelly Thinks He's Osama Bin Laden
The R&B singer was indicted last year on child pornography charges after a videotape purportedly showed him having sex with an underage girl. Kelly, who's free on bond, has denied the charges thusly:
"People can say whatever they want about you without knowing the facts... They can criticize you without even knowing you, and hate you when they don't even know you. All of a sudden, you're, like, the bin Laden of America. Osama bin Laden is the only one who knows exactly what I'm going through."
So Osama bin Laden is also wrongly accused of his crimes? Maybe you'd better rethink that last statement.
Public Humiliation as a Collection Tool
Vic Ricci is not getting back at people who bounce checks at his grocery store by posting their names on the marquee outside his store. He did it to one man who hadn't paid him his $200.00 tab after a month of visits and the man came in and paid half of it a day later.
I'm not sure this is the right way to go about doing this, but it seems to be working for Ricci.
Historic Night for Barry Bonds
Barry Bonds hit his 42nd home run of the season putting him at 655 for his career, 100 behind Hammerin' Hank and only 5 behind his godfather, Willie Mays. If he surpasses Mays, he will have more home runs than anybody except Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron.
Congratulations Barry, but you're still a jerk.