If I Were President
Fellow citizens, as I come before you tonight, I state with emphasis …. the state of the union is …. hhhhh --- so so…
I mean c’mon we can do better.
Our country is soft, weak in many ways and we will only through hard work bring success to what is still the “Great Experiment”
I will do my part in the upcoming year to make us stronger, but I can’t do it alone. I need the help of every one of you.
As President, I will work my tail off to reduce your tax burden, and release you from the shackles of government regulation. I know everyone says that, but I will tell you and I need you to embrace the corollary. The Federal government will subsidize your businesses less, redistribute your wealth less and generally force you to rely more on your own sweat and intelligence. It will not be easy.
Domestically I will institute a nation wide sales tax on every product excluding food and medicine. I’m not sure about that 8% number so don’t quote me. I will raise just enough money with the tax to eliminate the income tax and disband the IRS. The sales tax rate will depend precisely on that amount of money. I may even exempt clothing purchases under $150. (give me some input on that)
Anyway in conjunction I will provide a one time $5000 gift to the nation’s 100,000 CPA’s to let them transition into new professions.
Our children deserve the best education ever. They don’t need beauracrats from DC to help them. I will disband the Dept. of Education. I will take every dollar spent on the federal level. And divide it by the number of students and send that money to the schools which educate these students. After a two year period to let schools get used to the new money, every state education department will forward to me their standardized test results. I will then separate those reports into three piles. The excellent schools (15 states), the average schools (20 states), and the underperforming states (15 states)
Unless the underperforming states raise their scores above worldwide standardized test results, we will have to find a way to deal with them. I’m not sure yet how we will do this, but by God we can put a man on the moon surely we can whip 15 states education programs into shape.
We are going to allow drilling for oil in Alaska, and offshore Florida, anywhere that black stuff is inside our borders. People will be able to access it. I know it won’t last forever, but why not use it when its there?
We will begin this year to invest every dollar raised by social security taxes in an S&P 500 index fund. Only once in our history has this yielded a negative return over a five year period. Over any ten year period, it never has. It averages 10-13%. We will be well served by investing that money in corporate America. Our economy will boom!
Foreign policy? We will aggressively defend and protect our borders. We will deport illegal aliens and welcome legal ones. We will search out and kill anyone (nations, individuals, or terrorist groups) that threatens us.
The United Nations was a great idea. But it seems to me, that today it is a corrupt ineffectual body. I hereby withdraw the US from its membership. Then can continue to meet here, but their diplomats will from here on pay there parking tickets and be treated like any other person on American soil.
We will pay our back dues to that organization. But then never again will an American dollar be wasted on their silly and ineffectual programs. Instead, we will divide the amount we currently spend on UN Dues and related expenses and send a check to the salvation army, the red cross, and other non profits with the stipulation that they help underprivileged people around the world.
That’s about it. I wish I could tell you that the state of the Union is Strong. But we have too many problems. One of them resides here in this city. Americans … you need to elect moral people that are immune to corruption. We can pass reform laws, and we will. We can prosecute wrong doers. and we will. But the biggest responsibility resides with you, the average American.
You consistently vote for the person that can do the most for you, and then wonder why they are self serving.
Next election try electing the person who will do the most for AMERICA and we will all benefit!
Thank you and may God bless America.
I mean c’mon we can do better.
Our country is soft, weak in many ways and we will only through hard work bring success to what is still the “Great Experiment”
I will do my part in the upcoming year to make us stronger, but I can’t do it alone. I need the help of every one of you.
As President, I will work my tail off to reduce your tax burden, and release you from the shackles of government regulation. I know everyone says that, but I will tell you and I need you to embrace the corollary. The Federal government will subsidize your businesses less, redistribute your wealth less and generally force you to rely more on your own sweat and intelligence. It will not be easy.
Domestically I will institute a nation wide sales tax on every product excluding food and medicine. I’m not sure about that 8% number so don’t quote me. I will raise just enough money with the tax to eliminate the income tax and disband the IRS. The sales tax rate will depend precisely on that amount of money. I may even exempt clothing purchases under $150. (give me some input on that)
Anyway in conjunction I will provide a one time $5000 gift to the nation’s 100,000 CPA’s to let them transition into new professions.
Our children deserve the best education ever. They don’t need beauracrats from DC to help them. I will disband the Dept. of Education. I will take every dollar spent on the federal level. And divide it by the number of students and send that money to the schools which educate these students. After a two year period to let schools get used to the new money, every state education department will forward to me their standardized test results. I will then separate those reports into three piles. The excellent schools (15 states), the average schools (20 states), and the underperforming states (15 states)
Unless the underperforming states raise their scores above worldwide standardized test results, we will have to find a way to deal with them. I’m not sure yet how we will do this, but by God we can put a man on the moon surely we can whip 15 states education programs into shape.
We are going to allow drilling for oil in Alaska, and offshore Florida, anywhere that black stuff is inside our borders. People will be able to access it. I know it won’t last forever, but why not use it when its there?
We will begin this year to invest every dollar raised by social security taxes in an S&P 500 index fund. Only once in our history has this yielded a negative return over a five year period. Over any ten year period, it never has. It averages 10-13%. We will be well served by investing that money in corporate America. Our economy will boom!
Foreign policy? We will aggressively defend and protect our borders. We will deport illegal aliens and welcome legal ones. We will search out and kill anyone (nations, individuals, or terrorist groups) that threatens us.
The United Nations was a great idea. But it seems to me, that today it is a corrupt ineffectual body. I hereby withdraw the US from its membership. Then can continue to meet here, but their diplomats will from here on pay there parking tickets and be treated like any other person on American soil.
We will pay our back dues to that organization. But then never again will an American dollar be wasted on their silly and ineffectual programs. Instead, we will divide the amount we currently spend on UN Dues and related expenses and send a check to the salvation army, the red cross, and other non profits with the stipulation that they help underprivileged people around the world.
That’s about it. I wish I could tell you that the state of the Union is Strong. But we have too many problems. One of them resides here in this city. Americans … you need to elect moral people that are immune to corruption. We can pass reform laws, and we will. We can prosecute wrong doers. and we will. But the biggest responsibility resides with you, the average American.
You consistently vote for the person that can do the most for you, and then wonder why they are self serving.
Next election try electing the person who will do the most for AMERICA and we will all benefit!
Thank you and may God bless America.
The Whistler
ellinas
docdave
likwidshoe
Proof
Bike Bubba
goon
Julian Hudson
Neiman
pparets
