Say Anything Forum

How to confuse an idiot

2010-03-14T11:47:09-08:00

Comcast Accidentally Plays Porn Clip During Super Bowl

2009-02-02T09:20:16-08:00

Whoops

http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=f76ffd88-3629-4641-aca8-a88291f85f9b

MONKEY JOINT

2009-01-29T22:49:55-08:00

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks
past and looks up and says to the monkey, “Hey! What are you doing?”

The monkey says, “Smoking a joint, come up and have some.”

So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a
few tokes together.

After a while the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’ and that he’s going
to get a drink from the river.

The lizard climbs down the tree, ditty bops on thru the jungle to
the river and leans over the river to get his drink.

Well, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls
into the river.

A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to
the side, then asks the lizard, “What’s the matter with you?”

The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in a tree
and smoking a joint with the monkey and got too stoned and then fell
into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he’s gotta check this hippie monkey out and walks
off into the jungle where he finds the tree where the monkey is
still sitting and toking on the joint.

He looks up and says “hey you!”

The Monkey looks down and says, “ffuuucccckkkk dude…..........how
much water did you drink?!!”

Political Viruses that will affect your machine

2009-01-22T15:56:09-08:00

The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.

The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.

The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.

The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.

The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.

The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.

The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB.

The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.

The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn’t care.

The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files.

The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy ... then discards it through Windows.

Obama at the Bat -Too funny!

2010-03-07T21:41:01-08:00

Obama at the Bat
This one could have been filed under politics, or humor or sports! And it is…too funny!

You Will Never, Ever Be Able To Un-See This

2009-12-14T18:33:34-08:00

http://thedw.us/post/279293600/no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-of-the-day-pet

Some Good Jokes

2009-12-04T02:05:43-08:00

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop & her son saying, “All of you bastards who want off, get the hell off now, ‘cause this is the last stop! And all of you bastards who are getting on, get your ass in the train, Cause we’re going down the tracks.” The horrified mother went in & told her son, “We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room & stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.”

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom & resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped & the mother heard her son say, “All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for traveling with us today & hope your trip was a pleasant one.” She hears the little boy continue, “For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.” As the mother began to smile, the child added, “For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please direct your complaints to the fat bitch in the kitchen.”

Thank you for travelling with us.

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The State Mental Hospital

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won’t be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don’t press any buttons, you’ll just mess it up.

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

(Well, my job is done …..Your turn!)

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10 reasons computers must be Males

Top 10 reasons computers must be male:

10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

9. A better model is always just around the corner.

8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.

7. It is always necessary to have a backup.

6. They’ll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.

5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

3. The lights are on but nobody’s home.

2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.

1. Size does matter.

Hope that you widd add more from your collection..

Irishmen Joke of the Week

2009-01-25T21:43:55-08:00

An Irishman heads to work Monday morning, and finds that he’s been laid off. He stumbles down to the bar, and begins to drink. Now, mind you, it’s 11 in the morning, so by the time five ‘o clock rolls around, he’s been plastered for most of the day. As the regulars roll in, he shambles off his seat, and out the door onto the street. The setting sun is shining bright in his eyes as an ambulance comes wailing past, siren blaring, pushing sixty miles an hour.

The Irishman takes off after the ambulance, chasing it down city block after block. Finally, his alcohol-ridden body has had enough. He falls to the gutter, and in his dying breath, shouts:

“Well fine! Yeh’ can keep your damned ice-cream!”

Please D I E slowly

2010-02-10T03:41:14-08:00

Hi to All,
I want to share a funny picture with you all.

Best Halloween Costume Ever?

2009-11-05T10:39:00-08:00

Could be.