With All Important Political Issues Well-Covered, Salon Decide’s To Cover Michelle Obama’s Posterior
Not that I’m any sort of prude or anything, or have any problem with admiring the female form, but a whole article about the First Lady-elect’s badonkadonk?
Aren’t there other stories about the Obama’s that could be covered? We’ve gone weeks with article after article about the whole dog thing. Now Michelle Obama’s buttocks. Meanwhile, next to nothing has been reported about the fact that Obama’s shady campaign fund raising won’t be getting audited because of partisan politics.
But what really thrills me, what really feels liberating in a very personal way, is the official new prominence of Michelle Obama. Barack’s better half not only has stature but is statuesque. She has corruscating intelligence, beauty, style and — drumroll, please — a butt. (Yes, you read that right: I’m going to talk about the first lady’s butt.)
What a bonus! From the ocean of nastiness and confusion that defined this campaign from the beginning, Michelle rose up like Venus on the waves, keeping her coif above water and cruising the coattails of history to present us with a brand-new beauty norm before we knew it was even happening.
Actually, it took me and a lot of other similarly configured black women by surprise. So anxious and indignant were we about Michelle getting attacked for saying anything about America that conservatives could turn into mud, we hardly looked south of her neck. I noted her business suits and the fact she hardly ever wore pants (unlike Hillary). As I gradually relaxed, as Michelle strode onto more stages and people started focusing on her clothes and presence instead of her patriotism, it dawned on me — good God, she has a butt! “Obama’s baby (mama) got back,” wrote one feminist blogger. “OMG, her butt is humongous!” went a typical comment on one African-American online forum, and while it isn’t humongous, per se, it is a solid, round, black, class-A boo-tay. Try as Michelle might to cover it with those Mamie Eisenhower skirts and sheath dresses meant to reassure mainstream voters, the butt would not be denied.
Doesn’t this sort of strike you as the sort of fawning attention a high school quarterback would get from someone like the chess club chairman? “Dude, your girlfriend is so hot!”
It’s…disturbing, but just another part of the Obama cult worship we’re going to have to get used to.
Jackass Jimmy
madeira taffy
Bat One
ellinas
Proof
The Whistler
