Once upon a time, there was a kingdom filled with brave knights, beautiful maidens, and ruled by a great and powerful king. After many years of all the knights attempting to best one another, he finally announced the single contest that will resolve it all.

The big day came and the first knight came foward…
“I am the youngest knight of the land and have more youth and vitality than anyone else. To prove my worth, I will lift 2 bricks with my penis!”

He succeeded, the crowd cheered, the women fainted, and the band played appropriately.

A second knight came forward…
“I am the bravest knight of the land and have slain more dragons than any three knights combined. To prove my worth, I will lift 4 bricks with my penis!”

He succeeded, the crowd cheered, the women fainted, and the band played appropriated.

A third knight came foward…
“I am the oldest knight of the land and have been more experience and have trained most of our other knights. To prove my worth, I will lift 6 bricks with my penis!”

He succeeded, the crowd cheered, the women fainted, and the band played appropriated.

A silence covered the field as no other knight stepped foward. And then the King spoke….
“I am your King. I am the wisest, bravest, strongest, and the leader of my people. To prove my worth, I will lift 10 bricks with my penis!”

He succeeded, the crowd cheered, the women fainted, and the band played God Save the Queen.

“Who was it?” he asked.
“My husband,” she replied.
“I better get going,” he said.
“Where was he?”
“Relax. He’ll be late, he’s playing poker with you.”

What tip jar? There’s no mention of such a thing…

You’re too literal.

I like Carrick’s the best so far.

As far as we know, Carrick has tried to buy off the judge. I’m still feeling pretty confident.

It’s his blog. He can have an many birthdays as he wants.

Was I complaining?

OK Here’s my entry.

A big time investment banker get’s fed up with the rat race. He decides to get away from it all; New York, The Wife. So he buys a ranch in the middle of Montana sight unseen.

When he moves there he finds the place exactly like it was advertised. The house and buildings were in great shape. The land was good and hte wildlife was terrific.

But after about six weeks he found himself getting a bit lonely. He only saw people when he made his 70 mile run to “town” for supplies.

One day he was sitting on the porch and he say the dust cloud of a pickup from miles away. He watched the dust cloud as it drove into his yard.

When the pickup arrived, out stepped a real Montana cowboy. Hat, boots, jeans, cowboy shirt. The cowboy greeted him with a big “Howdy Neigbor”.

The ex-banker asked him how close they lived together and the Montana cowboy said “shucks, we’re real close. You just drive up that road 7 miles, hang a right for about 15 miles and that’s my place.

They shot the breeze for a while, as new neighbors do. When it was time to go, the Montana Cowboy said, “Say, I’m throwing a party Saturday night, do youall want to come.”

The ex-banker, a little worried that he might not fit in asked what was going to go on at the party.

The Cowboy responded that there would be “A lot of drinking, a lotta of eating, some loud musioc, some dancing and later a lot of sex.”

The ex-banker decided that it had been a long time, and said “sure, should I wear anything special.”

The Cowboy said, “Nah, you don’t have to wear nothing special, it’s just going to be the two of us.”

Carol, some cute stories of Rob’s childhood would fun!

Any blackmail material should be emailed.