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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Save Fuel And Money – Fly Standing, Naked Or Containerized

Want to fly standing up? That's what Airbus is pitching. Flying standing up.

For real.

In the future if you want a cheaper ticket you may be able to choose to fly standing up, something that will save the airlines money by allowing more passengers to be loaded onto a plane.

I like to take things to logical extremes. Already I have to remove my belt and take off my shoes. I’m no nudist and if you saw me you’d understand why. But think about it: The TSA could get you right through airport security if everyone flew nude? And think of the money you’d save! How elegantly efficient.

Maybe even better is you could fly as baggage. They put you in a box (looks like a coffin), give you a knockout drug to last about as long as your flight plus stops. Then they could stack you on a pallet and you fly parcel post to your destination. This would be particularly effective on very long overseas flights. You’d have to wear adult pampers of course. But think how cost effective it would be. If they made the container large enough you could have your carry-on luggage fly with you. You would be run through the scanner for bombs right at the check in. No TSA groping (none you would be aware of anyway).

Or, maybe you could fly racked up. I figure if everyone lay down on a rack separated by perhaps 2 feet, like in a submarine bunk area, you could triple or quadruple stack folks right to the ceiling of the airliner.

Really getting efficient now, aren’t we?

Comments

Avatar for richard

Logical extremes, that is the first time I have heard that term, I think I like it.

Ok what happens when all of those naked people standing up, shift during turbulance and the plane goes into a roll because your 10,000 lbs. is all of a sudden on the right side of the plane.

Safety will nix this bad idea.

richard on April 26, 2006 at 03:26 am
Avatar for The Whistler

For some time I’ve felt that we spend too much time wishing we were somewhere else.  I’ve thought we should find the good where we are.

Your post makes me think I’m on the right track. 

The Whistler on April 26, 2006 at 05:12 am
Avatar for Robert Perry

Is Airbus trying to persuade people to drive or take the train? And well said, Whistler and Gene. Sometimes we get so darned "smart" we look like idiots, and justifiably so.

Robert Perry on April 26, 2006 at 06:46 am
Avatar for Epicurus

Airbus has been quietly pitching the standing-room-only option to Asian carriers, though none has agreed to it yet. Passengers in the standing section would be propped against a padded backboard, held in place with a harness, according to experts who have seen a proposal.

Sounds like a pregnant idea for Asian carriers actually.

Epicurus on April 26, 2006 at 10:50 am
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