Redneck Financial Dictionary
With all the talk in the news about AIG bonuses, derivatives and such, as a public service, Say Anything will publish a dictionary of financial terms to help fellow rednecks understand the current situation.
Principle: What you take a stand on, like the Second Amendment!
Interest: Huntin’, fishin’, women.
Compound Interest: Bow hunting.
Profit: Jeremiah and them fellas.
Net: What you take a-fishin’.
Borrow: Used for totin’, like a wheelborrow.
No load fund: Savin’ up for shotgun shells.
Invest: Where you keep your shells when you got ‘em.
Revenue: Agents of the Fed’al Guv’mint
Finance: Your girl before you get hitched.
Bonds: Barry and James
Bonus: You shoot a squirrel, you get dinner and a pelt for a bonus!
Portfolio: On your bass boat, the opposite of starboard folio.
Hedge fund: Savin’ up for some nice juniper bushes to line the driveway.
Stock market: cattle yard
Foreclosure: When you close the store an hour early to go a-fishin’.
Bank: Where your asset when you’re a-fishin’!
Asset: Your pickup and your doublewide are where your asset when you’re not a-fishin’!
Cross Posted at Proof Positive
