Ramblings
Colombian Legislator Uses Dildo to Illustrate Point
A Colombian member of parliament has been suspended for five parliamentary sessions after taking out a rubber dildo during a debate. Luis Eduardo Diaz used the dildo to illustrate his demand for poor people to be sterilised in Bogotá to control birth rates. But after realising that he had offended other MPs, Diaz lost his temper and left the dildo on the desk of the health minister. MP Fernando Lopez Gutierrez said: 'A rubber penis is not something that should be brought to parliament.
ACLU Suing Secret Service
The civil liberties group filed the lawsuit in federal court in Pennsylvania on behalf of four advocacy organizations that claimed that the Secret Service forced them into protest zones or other areas where they could not be seen by President Bush or Vice President Dick Cheney or be noticed by the media covering their visits. ... The ACLU complaint lists several incidents where protesters were forced to assemble blocks away from where the president or vice president was speaking, while supporters of the administration's policy could hold their signs up in front of the building.
More Poop in New Zealand
Karen Hartshorne and her teenage daughter Lydia had just pulled up their driveway last night when they were hit by what appeared to be a freak hail storm. ... Their car and much of their driveway were be coated with a foul-smelling brown substance. 'It didn't even make a noise. It just kind of went plop and smelt disgusting,' Ms Hartshorne said. There has been a spate of similar reports nationwide in the last week, since a farmhouse in Wellington was splattered with a brown-green substance moments after a jet flew overhead.
Ford Mustang Inadvertently Ordered With Government Funds
Los Alamos National Laboratory equipment buyer Lillian Anaya thought she was ordering $30,000 worth of transducers. But she dialed a number that had been changed from an industrial equipment dealer to an auto parts shop, and wound up buying a Mustang with government money instead. That's the assertion of Los Alamos and University of California investigators, who today cleared Anaya of any wrongdoing... Anaya received a request from the Lab's Engineering Sciences and Applications division for 20 transducers last April. So she phoned in an order to what she thought was the Fluid Conditioning Company in Phoenix. The company had moved, however. And its number now rang in the back office of All Mustang Performance, a Ford parts and accessories shop.
"The Bachelor" Wrecks His Pad
The owners of a $4.5 million Malibu estate are suing the producers of "The Bachelor," claiming that their place was trashed during the month they rented the property to Warner Bros. for the filming of the reality TV show's new season, which debuts Wednesday. According to the below Los Angeles Superior Court complaint, lawyer Kenneth Chyten and his wife this summer rented their Malibu home--which they've dubbed Oceanview Manor--to "The Bachelor" for $45,000. The Chytens claim that when the cast and crew vacated the two-acre spread, they left behind holes in the walls, a rodent and poisonous spider infestation, discarded feminine hygiene products, and other assorted damage and debris. The couple is seeking $5 million in damages. (15 pages)
Cross-Dressing Meth Addict Arrested With Bomb
A 40-year-old Arkansas man is facing indecent exposure and drug charges following his arrest early Monday morning. Seems that when Crawford County Sheriff's deputies responded to a call regarding a suspicious vehicle, they found Woodruff asleep in his SUV--and dressed rather provocatively. He was apparenty wearing a "purple woman's bra and a flowered style women's thong panty." The cops also discovered a bomb, methamphetamine, and drug paraphernalia, which Woodruff had stored in a "Dale Earnhardt Jr. cooler." Woodruff, who told officers that he was building the explosive device for his ex-wife, has several prior convictions, including one for using a stolen check to pay for calls to 1-900 phone sex lines. Woodruff was sprung from the local lockup after posting $10,000 bail.
Drunk Drivers Get Scarlet Bumper Sticker
A judge in Florida is ordering some of the convicted offenders to place bumper stickers on their cars that ask "How's my driving?" followed by a toll-free telephone number. The stickers ends with the statement "The judge wants to know!!!" Escambia County Judge William White said he hopes the bumper stickers, which include an identification number for each driver, will reduce repeat offenses for driving under the influence of alcohol. "We want to influence people to correct their behavior rather than just use this as sort of a monitoring system," White said. White said he tried to use bumper stickers saying only "Convicted DUI" in the past simply to shame violators. He hopes the call-in stickers will be a stronger deterrent. In late August he began ordering motorists convicted of drunken driving to pay an annual fee of $50 to enroll in the monitoring system offered by the I Saw You Safety and Scholarship Foundation as a condition of probation. The Pensacola-based foundation provides the same service to parents of teenage drivers, borrowing the idea from trucking companies that use similar stickers to monitor their drivers.
Random Act of Kindness Blows Up In Pastor's Face
A church youth group attempting a "random act of kindness" is claiming responsibility for a bomb scare that emptied city hall Monday morning. A package of candy the group left for someone to find in a decorative cannon instead brought the Athens-Clarke police bomb squad, which blew up the offering of taffy and Jolly Rancher hard candies. "We take full responsibility for this," said Tara Bulger, youth director for the First Presbyterian Church of Athens. The box of candy was one of several that middle school-aged church members planted in the downtown area as part of an exercise in altruism, Bulger explained on Tuesday. Attached to each package of candy was a tag that read, "Random act of kindness."
"I just thought it was a good way for the children to put some kindness into the community," Bulger said.
Indeed.
A Colombian member of parliament has been suspended for five parliamentary sessions after taking out a rubber dildo during a debate. Luis Eduardo Diaz used the dildo to illustrate his demand for poor people to be sterilised in Bogotá to control birth rates. But after realising that he had offended other MPs, Diaz lost his temper and left the dildo on the desk of the health minister. MP Fernando Lopez Gutierrez said: 'A rubber penis is not something that should be brought to parliament.
ACLU Suing Secret Service
The civil liberties group filed the lawsuit in federal court in Pennsylvania on behalf of four advocacy organizations that claimed that the Secret Service forced them into protest zones or other areas where they could not be seen by President Bush or Vice President Dick Cheney or be noticed by the media covering their visits. ... The ACLU complaint lists several incidents where protesters were forced to assemble blocks away from where the president or vice president was speaking, while supporters of the administration's policy could hold their signs up in front of the building.
More Poop in New Zealand
Karen Hartshorne and her teenage daughter Lydia had just pulled up their driveway last night when they were hit by what appeared to be a freak hail storm. ... Their car and much of their driveway were be coated with a foul-smelling brown substance. 'It didn't even make a noise. It just kind of went plop and smelt disgusting,' Ms Hartshorne said. There has been a spate of similar reports nationwide in the last week, since a farmhouse in Wellington was splattered with a brown-green substance moments after a jet flew overhead.
Ford Mustang Inadvertently Ordered With Government Funds
Los Alamos National Laboratory equipment buyer Lillian Anaya thought she was ordering $30,000 worth of transducers. But she dialed a number that had been changed from an industrial equipment dealer to an auto parts shop, and wound up buying a Mustang with government money instead. That's the assertion of Los Alamos and University of California investigators, who today cleared Anaya of any wrongdoing... Anaya received a request from the Lab's Engineering Sciences and Applications division for 20 transducers last April. So she phoned in an order to what she thought was the Fluid Conditioning Company in Phoenix. The company had moved, however. And its number now rang in the back office of All Mustang Performance, a Ford parts and accessories shop.
"The Bachelor" Wrecks His Pad
The owners of a $4.5 million Malibu estate are suing the producers of "The Bachelor," claiming that their place was trashed during the month they rented the property to Warner Bros. for the filming of the reality TV show's new season, which debuts Wednesday. According to the below Los Angeles Superior Court complaint, lawyer Kenneth Chyten and his wife this summer rented their Malibu home--which they've dubbed Oceanview Manor--to "The Bachelor" for $45,000. The Chytens claim that when the cast and crew vacated the two-acre spread, they left behind holes in the walls, a rodent and poisonous spider infestation, discarded feminine hygiene products, and other assorted damage and debris. The couple is seeking $5 million in damages. (15 pages)
Cross-Dressing Meth Addict Arrested With Bomb
A 40-year-old Arkansas man is facing indecent exposure and drug charges following his arrest early Monday morning. Seems that when Crawford County Sheriff's deputies responded to a call regarding a suspicious vehicle, they found Woodruff asleep in his SUV--and dressed rather provocatively. He was apparenty wearing a "purple woman's bra and a flowered style women's thong panty." The cops also discovered a bomb, methamphetamine, and drug paraphernalia, which Woodruff had stored in a "Dale Earnhardt Jr. cooler." Woodruff, who told officers that he was building the explosive device for his ex-wife, has several prior convictions, including one for using a stolen check to pay for calls to 1-900 phone sex lines. Woodruff was sprung from the local lockup after posting $10,000 bail.
Drunk Drivers Get Scarlet Bumper Sticker
A judge in Florida is ordering some of the convicted offenders to place bumper stickers on their cars that ask "How's my driving?" followed by a toll-free telephone number. The stickers ends with the statement "The judge wants to know!!!" Escambia County Judge William White said he hopes the bumper stickers, which include an identification number for each driver, will reduce repeat offenses for driving under the influence of alcohol. "We want to influence people to correct their behavior rather than just use this as sort of a monitoring system," White said. White said he tried to use bumper stickers saying only "Convicted DUI" in the past simply to shame violators. He hopes the call-in stickers will be a stronger deterrent. In late August he began ordering motorists convicted of drunken driving to pay an annual fee of $50 to enroll in the monitoring system offered by the I Saw You Safety and Scholarship Foundation as a condition of probation. The Pensacola-based foundation provides the same service to parents of teenage drivers, borrowing the idea from trucking companies that use similar stickers to monitor their drivers.
Random Act of Kindness Blows Up In Pastor's Face
A church youth group attempting a "random act of kindness" is claiming responsibility for a bomb scare that emptied city hall Monday morning. A package of candy the group left for someone to find in a decorative cannon instead brought the Athens-Clarke police bomb squad, which blew up the offering of taffy and Jolly Rancher hard candies. "We take full responsibility for this," said Tara Bulger, youth director for the First Presbyterian Church of Athens. The box of candy was one of several that middle school-aged church members planted in the downtown area as part of an exercise in altruism, Bulger explained on Tuesday. Attached to each package of candy was a tag that read, "Random act of kindness."
"I just thought it was a good way for the children to put some kindness into the community," Bulger said.
Indeed.
Zsa Zsa
Rob
Neiman
goon
Chief RZ
Hairy Polemic
docdave
HG
Bat One
