Say Anything Blog

Well, that’ll solve everything:

UNITED NATIONS (Reuters) - Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon named actor George Clooney, who has campaigned for refugees in Darfur, as a U.N. “messenger of peace” on Friday to promote the world body’s peacekeeping efforts.

Clooney is the ninth U.N. messenger—people chosen from the fields of art, music, literature and sports who have agreed to help focus attention on the United Nations’ work.

U.N. spokeswoman Michele Montas said Clooney would have a special emphasis on peacekeeping. She said he had been “recognized for focusing public attention on crucial international political and social issues.”

What took them so long? I mean, here the U.S. has been wasting our time using highly qualified people as ambassadors or in positions like Secreatary of State when George has been there all the time. All those doctorate and master’s degrees hanging on those people’s walls? Pfffft. Check out George’s qualifications:

Clooney has starred in a number of films with political themes and won an Oscar in 2005 for his role in “Syriana.”

I know the guy’s heart is probably in the right place and all that, but doesn’t this little piece of celebrity worship go just a bit far, as well as his ego? So….he will have a “special emphasis on peacekeeping.” Swell. I’ll sleep better now that George is on the job.

In the meantime I’ve decided to stop wasting my time and apply to the U.N. for a title and position that I think would fit my special talents. I think “Emperor Of The Known Universe” will do just fine.

Hey, if Clooney can pull this one off, so can I.