NASA: Space Aliens Could Attack Because of Global Warming

I sure hope Tom Friedman doesn’t see this item.  No doubt he is eager to help his fellow NYT columnist and make Paul Krugman look sane by working space aliens into his schtick somehow – call it a “NYT editorial page unified theory of space aliens” or something.  Not only could space aliens be a good economic stimulus, they could be a good reason to cut down on the greenhouse gases, so says NASA.

It may not rank as the most compelling reason to curb greenhouse gases, but reducing our emissions might just save humanity from a pre-emptive alien attack, scientists claim.

Watching from afar, extraterrestrial beings might view changes in Earth’s atmosphere as symptomatic of a civilisation growing out of control – and take drastic action to keep us from becoming a more serious threat, the researchers explain.

This highly speculative scenario is one of several described by scientists at Nasa and Pennsylvania State University that, while considered unlikely, they say could play out were humans and alien life to make contact at some point in the future.

This clearly is a speculative “thinking outside of the box” endeavor but c’mon this is beyond silly.  There is simply ZERO science behind this, the fact that it made it into print is laughable and, frankly, offensive.  Aliens may just as well decide to destroy us if the New York Giants fail to win the Super Bowl this year.  Come to think of it, it doesn’t have to be Friedman, maybe MoDo can work this into an anti-Rick Perry column – Rick Perry doesn’t believe in Global Warming, thus aliens will attack us and that would be terrible for women, ergo it’s all part of Rick Perry’s hatred and war on women!!!

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  • Osm1

    If this was true they would have attacked after the last ice age.

  • http://nofreelunch.areavoices.com/ Kevin Flanagan

    Paul Krugman thinks that would be a great thing for our economy.
    http://globalpublicsquare.blogs.cnn.com/2011/08/18/what-do-we-need-to-fix-the-economy/

  • robert108

    Leftie nutbaggery.

  • Dakotabound

    Head scientist that presented the report to NASA is an astrobiology professor at the University of Pennsylvania.

    He gets paid for teaching students with money borrowed against Jr’s future, in addition to money borrowed by the state of PA and the Federal government. For this.

  • Sky Rider

    Hollywood already made this movie, it was the politically correct version of “The Day The Earth stood Still”. So NASA, you missed breaking any kind of headlines. Hollywood can’t be original and now we see NASA has no new ideas either; and both places have been taken over by Obama’s minions. 

  • Sky Rider

    By the way; the original movie “The Day The Earth Stood Still” was fantastic.

  • suitepotato

    If AGW were true, and it’s not, then aliens intervening to stop us from becoming more dangerous would be asinine because if we were destroying ourselves with AGW, it’s a self-solving problem. Unless they want to save the planet which is unlikely because the UFO encounter evidence is that they are interested only in human physiological development, not technological or cultural. If you care for the Earth’s environment, you don’t take intestinal cell samples from humans, you address the environment. There is no way outside of a tree-hugger ‘humans are the enemy of all life’ mentality that this makes any sort of sense.

    Remember folks, to truly be a threat to any alien life, we’d have to be capable of moving very fast, in large force, across a minimum distance of 4.3 light years. That is the distance to the next nearest system and we know that it is unlikely to be inhabited because we’ve yet to detect planets there. A tenth of a light year away is the next system, a binary, and that also appears uninhabited. The nearest system possibly capable of having life is a lot farther off. At our present rate of advancement, we’re probably a minimum of 30 years from FTL interstellar capability theoretically, and that’s just probes. Starfleet type ships are easily 20 more out from that, and that is with a planet-wide shift towards space exploration and colonization along with the usual resource capture and materials manufacturing out there.

    The same goes for aliens. They have to be capable of getting here first, and if they are, it is likely that they could destroy any space vehicle we loft right now without breaking a sweat. All they need to do is fire a burst of machine gun fire at it from high orbit as it were. Kinetic energy projectile weapons are all you need to fatally puncture a pressurized ship. Anyone who could cross stellar distances at FTL speeds would be able to strike our satellites out of orbit fairly accurately from the other side of this solar system with lasers, never mind something exotic.

    Beyond this, any species that can travel FTL will have technology for control of mass/gravity and can move truly gigantic masses around with ease. That means they can take asteroids, comets, and small moons for material and chow them up and use them to terrform worlds to their liking. Why go to this little out of the way rural section of the galaxy when the vast bulk of interesting systems have an average distance to the nearest neighbor measured under 1ly?

    Again, this makes no sense from any angle.

    EDIT: I should add that warp in Star Trek is very misleading. 4.3 light years times 365 days times 24 hours is 37,668 light hours. That means to get to Proxima Centauri in one hour, you need to go 37,668 times the speed of light. The Enterprise D in Star Trek: The Next Generation had a warp 9 cruising speed which was about 1516 times the speed of light. That puts Proxima just under 25 hours for Picard and company. Not that you would know this because in real life, there is no jump cut between the start of your trip and the arrival.

    • Dakotabound

      *gives you the Vulcan salute*

      But don’t forget, they outlawed the use of Warp 9 because it was destroying the space-time continuum. *facepalm*

      • JustRuss

        That was only on older ships, Voyager had variable angled Nacelles which allowed them to safely exceed the warp speed limit without damaging subspace.

  • VocalYokel

    They are already here.
    Algore is just waiting for the Mothership.

    • banjo kid

      Gore is the mother ship.

  • mickey_moussaoui

    I hear that space alien taste like chicken

    • banjo kid

      Can’t wait ,that’s all I can eat is chicken .Yum yum !

  • 2hotel9

    The worst part is these jacka$$ muthaf*ckers are serious. This is not a joke, it is not some sort of headshed “speculation”. These idiots are f*cking serious. And they are 100% paid with tax dollars.

  • HG

    Idiots.

  • banjo kid

    let them attack maybe they will just take the liberals and that way we would clean up the planet . We could just go into hiding when they come and wait till the liberals are gone with them or wiped out, what ever. That is the craziest thing I have ever heard from so called intelligent human beings , might be attacked by aliens wow what nut jobs they have at NASA.

  • mickey_moussaoui

    We could convince the aliens that liberals taste like chicken

  • VocalYokel

    Great idea !
    And if we’re fortunate they would have the alien equivalent of Col. Sanders with them.

  • anon

    “This article was amended on 19 August 2011. The subhead said the report was “for Nasa”. This has been corrected.”

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2011/aug/18/aliens-destroy-humanity-protect-civilisations

    Facts are stubborn things.

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