Let’s Talk About Pirates. Argh.
Talk about a high yield, low risk business.
Get a few homicidal, soulless lunatics, give them some guns and RPG’s, put them in boats and let them board unarmed merchant vessels, take the crew and cargo hostage, then demand millionns in payment from whatever entity owns said boats and crews (governments, private businesses, etc.,) then release the boats and hostages (with minimum torture and murder) after getting the ransom so that you maintain credibility and keep the cash flowing.
Not bad. Not bad at all.
It’s an odd, almost Twilight Zone situation. Some of the mightiest governments in the world just don’t know what to do about a bunch of illiterate maniacs who are stealing their boats in the open ocean. Apart from a couple of recent incidents, one where the Indian Navy did the logical thing and actually killed some of them and sank their transportation in the process, and one where British Marines shot up a few after being fired on, much of what our wonderful civilized governments have done amounts to hand-wringing and useless protests from their politicians.
So, in that vein, I’d like to offer some suggestions about this.
First off, stop worrying about upsetting the various governments in the Horn of Africa if you do happen to blow some of those fine folks out of the water and into the arms of their waitng 72 virgins. Tell them to pound sand – of which they have plenty. What are they gonna do – get mad?
You could do the old style convoy escorts but all that would do would be to cause the pirates to lay low until the various governments got tired of that expense and hassle and stopped the practice, then they’d come aswarmin’ again. It would work for a while, but wouldn’t be the best solution in the box.
Or, how about this…..before the ships leave the Red Sea and into the Gulf of Aden, how about ferrying a squad of well trained, well armed soldiers aboard? A US Marine rifle squad would do niclely, complete with Dragon shoulder fired missiles that are more than a match for pirates in speedboats with RPG’s. The pirates approach and – SURPRISE! No ransom for you, Zippy. When the ships made it ouside the pirate’s area of operation the troops could be ferried back to the starting point. Simple, really, and a whole lot cheaper than paying millions in ransom for your ships and crews.
Then there are the old WW2 style Q ships. Those were merchant vessels with hidden guns mounted on their decks that were essentially bait for German subs. It didn’t work out too well, but these morons aren’t exactly U boat commandres now, are they?
Anyway, it’s Saturday morning and it’s cold outside (for down here in Louisiana, anyway) and I’m bored and I’m tired of hearing how a bunch like this has the whole shipping world in a tizzy, so I thought I’d offer my humble solutions: Kill them wherever you find them. Harsh? Maybe, but it’s the only form of communication those people understand.
Anybody with any creative – or just plain fun – ideas feel free to chime in.
