“He enjoyed booze, guns, cars, and younger women until the day he died.”


So reads Michael “Flathead” Blanchard’s obituary as published in the Denver Post:

A Celebration of the life of Michael “Flathead” Blanchard will be held on April 14th, 3 pm 8160 Rosemary St, Commerce City. Weary of reading obituaries noting someone’s courageous battle with death, Mike wanted it known that he died as a result of being stubborn, refusing to follow doctors’ orders and raising hell for more than six decades. He enjoyed booze, guns, cars and younger women until the day he died.
Mike was born July 1944 in Colorado to Clyde and Ethel Blanchard. A community activist, he is noted for saving the Dr. Justina Ford house from demolition and defending those who could not defend themselves. He was a Republican delegate, life member of the NRA, founder and President of the Dead Cats MC. He loved music.

Mike was preceded in death by Clyde and Ethel Blanchard, survived by his beloved sons Mike and Chopper, former wife Jane Transue, brother Stephen Blanchard (Susan), Uncle Don and Aunt Cynthia Blanchard (his favorite); Uncle Dill and Aunt Dot, cousins and nephews, Baba Yaga can kiss his butt. So many of his childhood friends that weren’t killed in Vietnam went on to become criminals, prostitutes and/or Democrats.

He asks that you stop by and re-tell the stories he can no longer tell. As the Celebration will contain Adult material we respectfully ask that no children under 18 attend.

You gotta love the honesty. More here.

Rob Port is the editor of SayAnythingBlog.com. In 2011 he was a finalist for the Watch Dog of the Year from the Sam Adams Alliance and winner of the Americans For Prosperity Award for Online Excellence. In 2013 the Washington Post named SAB one of the nation's top state-based political blogs, and named Rob one of the state's best political reporters.

Related posts

  • Neiman

    Hell will be populated by so-called honest men. In my theological beliefs, this man now regrets his every word and action as he is consciously tormented by them day and night forever.

    • Jason

      Are you going to baptize him into your faith, also.  I think you are filling his mouth with your words–not good, man.  I, like him, do not care who comes to my funeral and will not have one. Come water my grave anytime, dude–I love green grass.  I hang and talk to the people I love now–to hell with pretty flowers and $7000,00 caskets. Can you tell what I am thinking now?

      • Neiman

        Just fyi I am not a Mormon, I do not baptize anyone against their will.

        It all sounds so machismo, so independent tough guy talk, but consider this, if you are wrong and my beliefs are right, on the other side there is no appeal it is conscious suffering forever without end, in absolute darkness, totally alone with no sleep, no rest and among other things your every word above will among many millions of other things will torment you. That is a pretty big price to pay in service yo your massive ego.

        Oh, I could care less about flowers and caskets and high priced funerals.

        • Guest

          Knee-high-man is a born again crackpot.  Go worship yourself a little more and then come back with some new pronouncements.

          You are sitting around moralizing on the occasion of a soldier passing.  He wanted you to read that.  Tough shit.

          Uh oh.  He liked booze.  No one around here likes booze.  ;)

          • Neiman

            1st: If you ever go to AA for your alcoholism, you might be more pleasant.

            2nd: He showed contempt for common decency and a rejection of morality, I doubt he is a very happy camper today, unless at the last moment he repented.

            3rd: You are an egomaniacal alcoholic little crud, so you’ll forgive me if I just laugh at your idiocy.

    • Brenarlo

       Thansk, Jesus.

    • Camsaure

      How do you know what he believed? Ever heard the song “Amazing Grace”? Ever heard that Faith not works gets you to heaven? It looks from what you have written that you must think that you may be the only one saved.

      • Neiman

        (1) If his last words and plans for his funeral did not give you a clue as to his spiritual state, you are so woefully ignorant as to need a full time keeper, as you are a danger to yourself and others.
        (2) Amazing Grace is a lovely song, I have heard many atheists/communists sing it with great passion, including just before my personal visit backstage with her, by Joan Baez, a well known Lesbian, but grace is not about singing a song, it is a Divine gift that must be sincerely accepted. It requires two conditions or it cannot or will not accepted: (a) An truthful admission we are sinners deserving of death and in desperate need of God’s Mercy, that is about repentance from our sins. Why would we seek such a gift if we think we have no need for it? (b) A sincere acceptance of Jesus as our Savior and Lord. Which implies, an honest desire to escape the power of sin, not as this man did – bragging about them. That lack of repentance was an all-revealing death bed confession.
        (3) You cannot find a single word issued by me that indicates any belief I am the only one that will be saved or that I believe I have a righteousness greater than anyone. Unless, you can provide such words by me, then you are responding like a child, emotionally, not based on the facts.

        At the end of the say, no one can know if at one time this man was a Christian and just living as a Prodigal and/or may have repented of his sins just before his death; but the evidence seems to contradict that faint hope and so those words must be exposed as betraying a possible lost soul as a warning to others, I can do no less.

  • mikemc1970

    So many of his childhood friends that weren’t killed in Vietnam went on to become criminals, prostitutes and/or Democrats.


    • sbark

      ………wonder why he had to be so very redundant with that statement of his…….

  • http://proof-proofpositive.blogspot.com/ Proof

    Named one of his boys “Chopper”. Hmm. Musta been a lumberjack!

  • 2hotel9

    Rob, thank you. I have not been in contact with Flat for many a year, and I truly appreciate learning of his passing from a friend.

    Get sh*t faced and howl at the Moon. Flat would like that. 

  • Thresherman

    It isn’t “honesty” but rather an apt description could be called “living life on your own terms.”

    Oh, and according to my beliefs, his status in the hereafter is between him and his maker, not a couple of yahoos pontificating there beliefs on a web site.

    • Neiman

      1st:  It is “their” not “there” before beliefs.
      2nd: If someone has a sincere belief that such behavior, not repented, leads to everlasting, conscious suffering, would they be faithful to those beliefs and showing true concern for their fellow man, if they failed to speak against this expressed lifestyle choice, warning others of the same possible fate?
      3rd: Pontificate: “1575–85;  (noun) < Latin pontificātus; see pontifical, -ate ; Medieval Latin pontificātus  past participle of pontificāre  to be an ecclesiastic. Why do you object to anyone expressing their beliefs on ecclesiastical matters?

  • Guest

    This thread is evidence that the Christians in our midst are not in favor of freedom of choice at all.  All they have a derogatory remarks for ‘Flat’ — sad.  If it was up to them, we would all live by their book.  Like the Taliban.

    From my perspective, this guy sounds like he had a rich, full life.  Does anyone really not like cars, guns, booze, and younger women?  All I would have to add to that list is book learning.

    I hope you guys are right about the afterlife because if you just rot and feed the worms, then you are missing out on a shitload of fun which can be had, right here and now…

    • Neiman

      1st: At the foundation of Christianity is freewill, freedom of choice in choosing or rejecting God. It is not to deny you that right, for decent people to oppose your lifestyle choice and seek to keep you from harming others in your selfish pursuits of pleasures of the flesh.
      2nd: Your childish accusations of force against others to live by the Bible and calling Christians that promote reasonable social restraints on aberrant, destructive behavior members of the Taliban, is based on your gross ignorance and Christ hatred.
      3rd: Your subjective, libertine views of what constitutes a rich full life is based on your own debauched character, not an objective standard at all. Many would see a life of self sacrifice, humble, generous service to people in need, even from a place of poverty, by people of exceptional moral character to represent the only rich and full life for any human being, whilst your version is totally selfish and based on your sense of your own superiority.
      4th: If we are right and to my mind there is no if, then you better let go of all restraint and engage your every lust to the full here and now, as after your physical death you will face never ending, conscious torments more horrible that your worst nightmares.

      • Guest

        Some Christians don’t believe in free will (Calvinists, etc.), so it cannot be the foundation of Christianity, f*cknut.

        • Econwarrior

          As usual, little sparkie, you have it exactly backwards.

    • 2hotel9

       This thread is proof you have lost, yet again.

    • 308T

       “Does anyone really not like cars, guns, booze, and younger women?” I’ve ran into a few people who don’t, I didn’t hang around them for too long.

    • two_amber_lamps

       Spar-kkk-ie said:

      From my perspective, this guy sounds like he had a rich, full life.

      Spar-KKK-ie’s definition of a “rich” life:


  • Jay

    Sounds like my kind of guy. Of course Ayatollah Neiman is pissed the guy actually had fin in his life and didn’t try to convert people to an obvious fairy tale. :)

    • Neiman

      Still cannot justify the Ayatollah label can you?  Just more liberal childishness!

      I’ll assume you meant fun in his life, not a fin?

      You know it is not a fairy tale, but you reject it because like this fellow, your debauchery rules your mind and heart, only seeking to satisfy your base lusts. Well enjoy it now, eternity is going to suck for you and there will be no rescue.

      • Jay

        You believe what you like. I see no reason to reach your conclusions. As far as Eternity, even in the unlikely event there actually is a Hell, it can’t be any worse than the agony I’ve gone through every waking second since some sonofabitch murdered my girlfriend. I’d welcome an eternity in Hell if it meant Krystle didn’t have that happen to her. Nothing can be worse than what I go through every day because of that senseless act of violence.

        • Neiman

          Nothing? How about losing a son, as I have, try living with that constant sense of pain and loss, of your ONLY son. Yet, I know that bad things, horrible things happen, even to good Christian people, I also know God is there beside us even when they do, if we will only acknowledge Him. I know that real people, even if we lose it for a time, can rise up and bless God for our loss, when we realize that despite our being His enemies, He loved us so much, He gave His only Son to die a despicable death for us, a death we deserved, He was cruelly murdered like your Krystle, so that He could welcome us into His family and bless us forever.

          I guess it all depends upon what kind of people we are, I wish I had been a stronger one and made something good out of my son’s death so far from home, on a foreign field, instead of feeling the anger, yes even anger at God. I wish that both of us could have found something greater than ourselves in our loss, instead of wallowing in the pain, to have made something beautiful out of our lives, like.

          The Birth of the Song “Precious Lord”Written by Tommy

          Back in 1932, I was 32 years old and a fairly new husband. My wife, Nettie, and I were living in a little apartment on Chicago’s South side. One hot August afternoon I had to go to St. Louis, where I was to be the featured soloist at a large revival meeting. I didn’t want to go. Nettie was in the last month of pregnancy with our first child. But a lot of people were expecting me in St. Louis.

          The next night, in the steaming St. Louis heat, the crowd called on me to sing again and again. When I finally sat down, a messenger boy ran up with a Western Union telegram. I ripped open the envelope. Pasted on the yellow sheet were the words: “YOUR WIFE JUST DIED.”

          All I could hear on the other end was “Nettie is dead. Nettie is dead.” When I got back, I learned that Nettie had given birth to a boy. I swung between grief and joy. Yet that night, the baby died. I buried Nettie and our little boy together, in the same casket. Then I fell apart.
          For days I closeted myself. I felt that God had done me an
          . I didn’t want to serve Him any more or write gospel songs.

          Everyone was kind to me, especially a friend, Professor Fry, who seemed to know what I needed. On the following Saturday evening he took me up to Malone’s Poro College, a neighborhood music school. I sat down at the piano, and my hands began to browse over the keys.
          Something happened to me then. I felt at peace. I felt as though I could reach out and touch God. I found myself playing a melody, one into my head-they just seemed to fall into place:

          “Precious Lord, take my hand, Lead me on, let me stand, I am tired, I am weak, I am worn, Through the storm, through the night Lead me on to the light, Take my hand, precious Lord, Lead me home.”

          As the Lord gave me these words and melody, He also healed my spirit. I learned that when we are in our deepest grief, when
          we feel farthest from God, this is when He is closest, and when we are most open to His restoring Power
          . And so I go on living for God
          willingly and joyfully, until that Day comes when He will take me and gently lead me home.

          “The faith to move mountains is the reward of those who have moved little hills.”

          “…and grant me a willing spirit…” Psalm 51:12 (NIV)

          • Jason

            Finally the truth comes out and can set you free if you allow it–it is all about you.  This obituary was about someone other than you.  I feel for your loss–but don’t put words in other people’s mouth.  This guy probably got to know the Lord pretty well if he was in Vietnam–there are no atheists in foxholes–He probably got the express ticket to Heaven with what he was asked to do for this country.  You don’t disgust me, only your words that you try to put in other people’s mouths.  This man probably had more guts than all those wretches in The White House put together.  Let him have his 15 minutes of fame–he deserves it. 

          • Neiman

            You are interfering in a private discussion regarding loss and how we do or do not react, it was NOT as you disgustingly put it, a self centered conversation; but if you read the comments above mine, my observations were a reaction to the words of another, you ignorant toad.

            I was in Vietnam (Marine Corps), as was my brother (MC) and brother-in-law (Army), my son (MC) in Iraq and my grandson (Army) in afghanistan and none of us deserve a damn thing, we only did our duty. My father served in WW-II commanding a ship in the Pacific, my elder brother in the Frozen Chosin in Korea, my entire family on both sides have defended America since the Revolution. The no atheists in foxholes is a myth, God is not fooled by foxhole conversions; one either comes to Him by faith alone or they die in their sins.

            There is only one way to Heaven and it is by being born again in Christ Jesus, no one gets their ticket punched for anything they do that is good or evil they refrain from. While no on can know for sure – as there can be death bed repentance – even though there is no hint of it above, this man’s words and memorial observance was marked by anything but a Christian character. Just read the damn story, this was not the life/words of a Christian.

          • Guest

            I like Cicero better than the bible.  ;)  Way nicer, much better advice, way better writer, more interesting commentaries, not as many poor people and farm animals in the stories, etc.  Oh wait, he was a Roman consul.  That means… some of his buddies, or his son’s buddies, tacked the baby Christ to the pole.  Damn.  I bet the whores who stole the baby jesus’s corpse from the cave, so that the myth could live on in suburban California 2000 years later, had sucked off some of Cicero’s son’s buddies.  Cosmic, bro.

          • Econwarrior

            That makes perfect sense, little sparkie, considering how messed up you are.  Reading and understanding the Bible might make you into a real human being.

  • Spartacus

    Sounds like Richard Priors dad. Accordingly, died while having sex with a younger girl. Died while cumming and going at the same time…Prior’s own words…