Don’t Talk About Abstinence

Sigh…

WASHINGTON – How should you talk to your children about sex? Tell them no sex, says a new government Web site that proclaims “abstinence is the healthiest choice.” That’s dictating values, say organizations including the American Civil Liberties Union and gay rights groups, and they want the site taken down.
Michael Leavitt, secretary of the Health and Human Services Department, says the Web site is right on target.
The site was designed for parents who are embarrassed about talking with their children about sex, Leavitt said in a statement.
“Parents have a tremendous amount of influence on their children and we want them to talk with their teens about abstinence so that they can stay safe and healthy,” he said.

What’s so wrong with the abstinence message? Are there parents out there who are promoting sex for their teenagers? Is there some doubt about abstinence being the absolute best way to prevent unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases?
The article continues…

Promoting abstinence is fine, said Monica Rodriguez of the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States, but the government should also address the needs of teenagers who are already sexually active, gay or lesbian, or who have been sexually abused.
For example, she said Thursday, the site should promote the proper use of contraceptives, and it should not imply that homosexuality is wrong by encouraging parents of gay or lesbian children to consult a therapist.
“By and large, it’s a Web site that believes in abstinence until marriage,” said Rodriguez, whose advocacy group promotes comprehensive sexual education. “Everything on the Web site is designed to promote that value and help parents communicate that value to their children.”

The problem with “comprehensive sexual education” is that when you tell kids not to have sex and then tell them that they can have “safe sex” with condoms you undermine the first lesson. If the kids are lulled into a false sense of security about sex with condoms and other safe sex measures they are going to ignore abstinence and have sex anyway thinking that they can get their cake and eat it too.
That’s just not going to work.