Say Anything Blog

Oh my...

The Sun Herald - Dear Annie: My husband returned after a year's deployment with the Army. We were so happy to have him back.

However, in a casual conversation, he told me that he and his buddies had gone to a stripper bar while in the States. It was amateur night, and he knew one of the girls performing. He tried to "help her relax" by stroking several parts of her body while she gyrated. He was thrown out of the bar for fondling the dancer. He thinks this story is hilarious.

I, of course, was less amused and have asked him to leave our home of 17 years until I can think things out. He swears he only touched her. I think he crossed a line and wonder if things would have progressed had he not been tossed out.

Am I being too harsh? He swears this is the first time he has ever done anything like this and he has never been unfaithful to me, but I don't trust him. He touched another woman intimately, and if I let him get away with it, I suspect he not only will do it again, he might do more.

We have two daughters who are devastated that Daddy has moved out, and they think I'm crazy for showing him the door. Please help.
Skeptical Wife

Dear Wife: Although we usually are inclined to cut our servicemen a little slack, this is not one of those cases. Your husband has no business stroking a semi-naked woman (other than you). The bad news is, he sees nothing wrong with his behavior. The good news is, he told you about it.

Please don't throw away 17 years without first seeing a marriage counselor, who can help you work through the trust issues and explain to your husband why his actions were a betrayal. We recommend taking advantage of the counseling services offered through the military.

I don't know what's more hilarious, the fact that this husband thought his wife would think his strip club stories were "hilarious" or that his wife wrote into an advice column about it.

Note to men reading this: What happens in the strip club stays in the strip club. Unless you're planning on leaving the wife there's no reason to go into detail about your late-night exotic dancing excursions.