Centers For Disease Control Issues Official Plan For Zombie Outbreak

I don’t know whether to laugh as a fan of all things zombie or cry as a citizen at the waste of time and taxpayer dollars, but for what it’s worth if a zombie apocalypse does ever happen the CDC has a plan:

If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated.

Personally, I’d recommend picking up this. Don’t rely on the government to save you. Be self-sufficient.

Besides, when have you ever seen a zombie move where the government’s efforts to protect the citizenry worked?

Rob Port is the editor of In 2011 he was a finalist for the Watch Dog of the Year from the Sam Adams Alliance and winner of the Americans For Prosperity Award for Online Excellence. In 2013 the Washington Post named SAB one of the nation's top state-based political blogs, and named Rob one of the state's best political reporters.

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  • VocalYokel

    Perhaps they are planning to treat the citizens who vote for Barry-O in 2012.

    • mickey_moussaoui

      Too late, they already elected Obama. 

      • flamemeister

        Beat me to it … .  Sh!t.

        “When Hell is full, the Dead will walk the earth.”

  • Jay W.

    To be fair, I don’t think the CDC spent a whole lot of time coming with a plan; this seems more like a tongue-in-cheek post on a CDC blog. The “plan” amounts to little more than saying it would be treated like any other outbreak. Count me in the “harmless bit of fun category”.

    I haven’t read the Zombie Survival Guide yet, but Max Brook’s other zombie book, World War Z, was great.

    • Rob

      World War Z is, indeed, excellent.

      And I was mostly kidding myself about the tax dollars.  Mostly.

  • Enigma_Cypher

    When there is no more room in hell, the dead will…vote for Obama. 

    • flamemeister

      Double sh!t!  Beat AGAIN!

  • 308T

     My zombie plan= AR15 & Mossberg 500 tac12. Yes, I do have thousands of rounds at my disposal…

  • Jamermorrow

    I am going with the 25lb sledge hammer. Way more personal and it doesn’t run out of ammo. I think an F-350 with V plow would work nice but you can run out of gas. AR-15 jams up too much. Ak-47 would be a better choice. If you go with the Mossberg replace the plastic safety switch with an aftermarket steel switch. I found out the hard way on that plastic safety switch.