Breaking News: President Obama Quits Smoking

And the obvious question is…now what is he going to blow up our asses?

First lady Michelle Obama told a roundtable of print reporters today that she considers her husband a former smoker because he formally has quit smoking.

Asked by reporters whether she could say whether the president has finally quit smoking Mrs. Obama said, “Yes, he has” and that “it’s been almost a year.” Mrs. Obama said today, according to the AP, and that said she didn’t know exactly when he quit “because he never smoked a lot,” and that she’d never see him smoke.

White House press secretary Robert Gibbs last said in December that he hadn’t seen the president smoke in nearly 9 months. But Gibbs then was cautious in declaring formally that the president has all-out quit. Asked then if by not smoking for 9 months, that means that his boss has formally quit then, Gibbs hesitated, “For that nine months, yes. I mean, I don’t — I’m trying not — I don’t want to be flip. I mean, I don’t — I think the President would be the first one to tell you that it’s a struggle.”

If he really did quit nine months ago – and I’m not sure I believe it – it may have been in self defense. After all, between the cigarettes and the heart-attack-inducing White House Super Bowl menu it’s becoming awfully hard, politically, for Michelle Obama to keep up her food police campaign.

Rob Port is the editor of SayAnythingBlog.com. In 2011 he was a finalist for the Watch Dog of the Year from the Sam Adams Alliance and winner of the Americans For Prosperity Award for Online Excellence. In 2013 the Washington Post named SAB one of the nation's top state-based political blogs, and named Rob one of the state's best political reporters. He writes a weekly column for several North Dakota newspapers, and also serves as a policy fellow for the North Dakota Policy Council.

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  • Ctomrun

    I doubt it. He’s still blowing smoke up our arses.

  • Guest

    What does the President’s personal habits have to do with policy? If Obama were a professional bodybuilder that followed a strict protein diet, would that make his support for health related policies any more acceptable to you? Didn’t think so.

    • http://sayanythingblog.com Rob

      I don’t care what the President’s personal habits are. The problem is, he cares what mine are and seeks to manipulate them with policy.

      Thus, my beef.

      • Hannitized, Proofs obsession

        Rob cares about the personal habits of politicians, not the greater cause of serving the public. That’s what you call an ad hominem.

        • 2hotel9

          Poor tranni. Got its sh*t stained teeth kicked in throughout 5 separate threads today so it comes here to cry. What a pissy little beeatch.

        • http://sayanythingblog.com Rob

          I don’t think you know what ad hominem means.

        • Spartacus

          No Einstein. Only YOU call it ad hominem. The rest of us call elitists, and narcissists not unlike yourself, that insist everyone else do as they say not as they do hypocrites. You know like telling everyone else to eat healthy foods while Obama scarfs down a Lou Malnatti pizza during the Super Bowl, shipped in from Chicago at guess who’s expense? Come back and preach when you live the life you profess twatwaffle.

          • Hannitized, Proofs obsession

            I’m pretty sure many of us call it ad hominem. Your missing the point of the advice. Everything in moderation. Live it, learn it.

            I practice what I preach, one plate of Little Village, starting with the Spinach Pecan Salad, mmmm.

            BTW, you’re an a-hole.

        • http://flamemeister.com flamemeister

          Hey Grasshopper, check on the meaning of ad hominem.

          • Spartacus

            I know why you’re referring to him as “Grasshopper”, I have too in the past for the same reason. He’s a young fool. See what I did there? It rhymes with kung fu. You really mean Weed huffer don’t you? Since he obviously migrated to Hawaii to be closer to an unlimited source of the fresh stuff, like minorities tend to do, and is now suffering from resin build up between the ears. But swab a Q-Tip in his ear and pass it to his buddies for “nose hits”.

          • Hannitized, Proofs obsession

            You are clearly huffing too many Palin farts, pig farmer.

          • Spartacus

            You shouldn’t refer to your mother as a pig just because I make her squeal, just saying…

          • http://flamemeister.com flamemeister

            Hanni is sort of a really low-class blogger version of “Tex” Cobb, the boxer in the 70s who tried unsuccessfully to beat his opponents by breaking their fists on his head. (He was also something of an actor, f.i., the biker in Raising Arizona.) I didn’t know that you had also referred to him as “Grasshopper”, but I like it for the reason you state, and also because the Grasshopper is the liberal and the ant is the conservative in the story.

          • Bat One

            I’m not so sure about the “Grasshopper” reference. Kwai Chang Cain was able – and humble – and anxious to learn from those who were his masters. Reason enough to find another, more fitting nickname.

          • http://flamemeister.com flamemeister

            Cockroach comes to mind immediately.

          • 2hotel9

            Got to put the Desi Arnez touch to it, cockaroach!

          • Bat One

            Love the subtlety. Well done!

          • 2hotel9

            Got to love and embrace the classics.

          • A Citizen

            Funny that hanniturd claims to practice what it preaches. Mean while he’s the one on STD meds because he knowingly fucked diseased skanks.

          • Hannitized, Proofs obsession

            Flamer, please buy yourself a 3rd grade education!

            An ad hominem (Latin: “to the man”), also known as argumentum ad hominem, is an attempt to link the validity of a premise to a characteristic or belief of the person advocating the premise.[1] The ad hominem is a classic logical fallacy,[2] but it is not always fallacious; in some instances, questions of personal conduct, character, motives, etc., are legitimate and relevant to the issue.[3]

            You can feel free to look up the word “conduct”, if you need someone to spell it out to you, no doubt in crayon.

            Yes, Rob did question the conduct of Obama, who smokes and then suggests to us the importance of healthy eating habits. That method of attacking his premise by tying it to his conduct is argumentum ad hominem!!

          • http://flamemeister.com flamemeister

            Nice try, Dujour the Nitpicker. You use the expression poorly and inappropriately, that’s all there is to it. You are building up quite a collection of word slop.

          • Hannitized, Proofs obsession

            Sure. Your simplistic understanding of the word does not mean I misused it. It simply means you are stupid.

            Why don’t you tell me again about proportions and Churches that belong to the private sector? Heh!

          • http://flamemeister.com flamemeister

            You seem to be terribly confused. “Churches?”

          • Hannitized, Proofs obsession

            No, it is you who are confused. You have clearly lost control of your thoughts when dealing with the difficulty of the word, “and”.

            Hahaha! Another laughable moment, brought to you by Flamer, the witless comedian.

          • http://flamemeister.com flamemeister

            So desperate, so very desperate!

          • Hannitized, Proofs obsession

            I don’t think anyone who is incapable of understanding the importance of a conjunction in a sentence, while simultaneously trying to excuse their own ineptness, should be talking about desperation, to anyone.

          • http://flamemeister.com flamemeister

            Years ago, when I had professional dealings with kooks, I used to get messages like yours written in all caps with several colors of crayon on lined sheets of yellow legal pad. (Sigh) Those were the good old days.

          • Hannitized, Proofs obsession

            Nobody wants to hear about how you met your girlfriend.

            We just want to know how it is you missed the proper use of the word “and”?

          • http://flamemeister.com flamemeister

            Losing it, eh, Auntie? Relax, close your eye … there … now let the peaceful darkness enshroud you … you don’t have to be afraid … struggling will only make it worse … peace … peace … peace … p e a c e … there … do you see grandmother up ahead? Does she have big ears? Does she have big eyes? Does her mouth open wide? Wider? Go ahead, give her a big hug.

          • Hannitized, Proofs obsession

            You should show that post to your wife. I would love to see her face after having read it.

          • 2hotel9

            Obviously trannitized watched “Conjunction Junction, Whats Your Function” when it came to this morning. What a f*cking lame a$$ed joke tranni makes itself.

          • 2hotel9

            He thinks that is what grits are made from.

          • http://flamemeister.com flamemeister

            hanni is pure cyberbullying pork: the more he’s poked, the louder he squeals; the more desperate he gets, the more blunders he makes. He’s the flamer’s gift that keeps on giving.

          • Bat One

            You forgot to include his record for weapons-grade irrelevance.

    • robert108

      Actually, he fits the profile of a stupid and destructive smoker. He sticks to his agenda, and doesn’t listen to those affected by his behavior.

  • DopeyDem

    Oh sure, just when the budget deficit hits an all time high, Obama quits paying the tax on cigarettes.

  • Lgbpop

    Did Valerie Jarrett say he could quit?

  • Spartacus

    Good. I’m sure we the people have been paying for his habit since he was inaugurated. Now us knuckle dragging Rethuglicans can’t accuse him of not cutting spending, woohoo!

  • 2hotel9

    Pretty funny. I pointed out yesterday that Barri has a pack a day Salem habit and Moochelle felt compelled to screech ineffectually that he has “quit” smoking. What a f**king joke. Washington Post pointed out he was smoking around Christmas. Guess they were just lying, right Moochelle?

    • Spartacus

      Are you sure about Salem’s? More typical would be Kool’s, filter kings.

      • Bat One

        Did you happen to notice which end of the pack he’d opened? Just asking.

  • 2hotel9

    No, in the many pics published in national media outlets he is clearly smoking Salems, in one he had the pack in his hand.

  • http://Sayanythingblog.com The Whistler

    To get caught would surely be the death of us all.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxBbmoUdEac

  • mikemc1970

    If he doesn’t put on weight, we’ll know for sure. I bet it’s going to be nicotine gum and broom closet smoke breaks from now on.

    • Spartacus

      That’s no shit. Before I fell off the wagon last year I put on 40 pounds in the 5 month’s I was smoke free. I’ve lost only 15 since I started again. If the disease doesn’t kill you the cure will!

      • mikemc1970

        It’s been about ten years for me. My metabolism dropped like a rock too. I have to wonder how many times Obama will steal over to Boehners office just to bum a smoke.

  • http://flamemeister.com flamemeister

    Don’t listen to them Mr. President. You are the President. Indeed, you are far more than just the President of this country, you are a cosmic figure playing on the world stage, a legend in the making, perhaps the grace of God embodied on this planet. Smoking? No way smoking is going to bring you down. No way. You just smoke to your heart’s content. Hell, throw it in their faces, do five packs a day.

    • Spartacus

      Let’s not forget eating 3 pounds of thick tasty bacon and a pound og butter every day…Oh and a dozen eggs every day. We can’t have our fearless leader going hungry!

      • http://flamemeister.com flamemeister

        Someone should introduce him to the chip butty, a favorite among Scottish caddies. It is a sandwich made out of french fries with lots of butter and mayonnaise. Even better with cheese.

  • Spartacus

    So after Orkin performed their annual inspection at the Whtehouse they said they can’t get rid of that kind of a “roach”?

    • http://sayanythingblog.com Mountainmouth

      Maybe they should call in the ex mayor for real expertise

  • http://sayanythingblog.com Mountainmouth

    He probably gets his cigarettes from an Indian Res so he doesn’t have to pay all those high taxes

  • Vlad Taltos

    Obama quit smoking. He didn’t publicize it.

    Other than hatred for Obama, what is your problem?

    • http://sayanythingblog.com Mountainmouth

      I don’t care if he smokes tobacco- it is legal. I just want to be sure he is paying all the taxes.

      This administration has a history of tax evasion

    • 2hotel9

      That he did not quit smoking, whiny lying c*nt.

    • Bat One

      Stick a sock in it, counselor!!! I, for one, don’t hate Obama as I’ve never met Obama. But I can certainly despise everything he stands for, and the sh*t job he’s doing as president. Besides, he’s not getting half the grief that you guys on the Left gave his predecessor.

  • http://sayanythingblog.com Mountainmouth

    he tried to inhale but he knew how

  • Jamermorrow

    I was not a smoker but I have decided to become a smoker for political reasons. Anything I can do to piss off big government liberals and conservatives is fun.

    • robert108

      Thanks for admitting that you’re a rebellious adolescent. Happy emphysema.

  • A Citizen

    Odumber lies and says he quit smoking and fat ass michelle swears to it, along with the other fools who believe the lies of a liar.

  • VocalYokel

    Aw shucks…I was hoping he’d switch to Camel straights!

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