A Post In Which I Make Fargo Forum Opinion Editor Jack Zaleski’s Life A Lot Easier

Jack Zaleski of the Fargo Forum, by dint of heading up the opinions page of North Dakota’s biggest newspaper in the state’s biggest city, is one of the most powerful voices in North Dakota politics. So I imagine that his job must be hard and taxing, what with dealing with all the overtures from politicians and letters from citizens and readers.
So to make his job a lot easier I assigned a crack squad of researchers here at SAB central and, based on their findings, formulated the Jack Zaleski Automatic Editorial Generator. You’ll find it below.
Now all Jack has to do to grind out his op/ed’s is fill in the blanks.

The _____________ are at it again.
How dare _________ from (choose one: out of state, right-leaning think tank, North Dakota Republican Party) criticize (choose one: Byron Dorgan, Kent Conrad, Earl Pomeroy, North Dakota Democrat) for standing up for North Dakota ? Their arguments are more just (choose one: piffle, a kerfuffle) linked to (choose one: partisan hacks, Jack Abramoff, Grover Norquist, Republicans).
Back in (choose one: Devils Lake , Rhode Island , my youth in the 1960) we didn’t let (choose one: partisan hacks, Jack Abramoff, Grover Norquist, Republicans) get away with (choose one: attacking, smearing, lampooning) proud public servants like (insert the name of liberal politician) _______________.
The truth is that (choose one: Conrad, Dorgan, Pomeroy, Democrat politician) remain above the (choose one: partisan, political, left-right) debate engaged in by (insert name of person/group Zaleski thinks is wrong) ________________. (Insert name of Democrat politician/activist Zaleski agrees with) works tirelessly for (choose one: farmers, seniors, workers) and shouldn’t be criticized by partisan hacks like (insert name of person/group Zaleski disagrees with).

Feel free to add in your own variations and post them in the comments to help Jack out.